the FITS year in review!

I figured I should put out at least one final post to close out 2007 before we begin looking forward to 2008 here at Farting in the Shower... It wasn't easy taking a look back at the disaster that was the first half of the year, but I decided to take one for the team anyway. So here it is, the Farting in the Shower "Year in Review":

January- It was not a good time for my blog... I didn’t write a "New Year’s Resolution" post which is of course one of the top 5 easiest posts you could ever think of writing, which is of course why just about every blogger wrote one... you know, every blogger but me.

In fact, I only managed to make two posts the entire month, and one of those was actually me informing everyone that I was having a hard time finding motivation to blog… you know, in case you couldn’t figure that out on your own.

The other post was about Rosie the Cat’s near death experience… I didn’t even bother to follow that post up with a little “the cat didn’t die” update until the following month.

February- If you thought January was kicking my ass, just wait until you see what kind of output I managed in February!!!

ONE post… really! That’s it! And that was only the above referenced update to the Rosie saga!

I did however somehow manage to throw in a little anecdote about ordering a Koran online…To tell the truth I had forgotten all about that until I just now re-read the post in my archive… That Koran did finally arrive weeks later but I never managed to crack it open, so my life as a Muslim didn't get off to a very good start... Let’s just say you won’t catch me fasting for Ramadan any time soon.

March- We’re now knee deep into what shall from now on be referred to as “the dark period” in my blog history… I only put up one post the entire month and it was basically just a copy and paste from The Washington Post. It was an article about the death of the lone surviving woman from the Massacre at El Mozote… Bummer…

April- Normally I would beat myself up for not posting anything at all from this month, but actually, I took the entire month off so I could give free medical care to rural peasant farmers in Africa… In retrospect I probably should have written something about my good deed but I was just so damn busy saving lives. I did manage to take this picture though:

May- My pro-bono medical mission ended up spilling over into early May… and then Moe Greene and I went to Las Vegas!

No really, that part actually did happen… It was my first ever Vegas trip, and even though it was “The Dark Period” it’s still pretty amazing that I somehow managed to not write something about our journey.

It was a pretty eventful vacation, but I'll do my best here to try and sum it up with a few of the basic highlights:

- Moe Greene accidentally shits himself in the parking garage of BWI Airport in Maryland. It was just a small “leak” but it did require him to pull out an undershirt from his suitcase to “clean up”… He then spends most of the flight to Vegas wondering if he might somehow be arrested when we get back because he disposed of his soiled undershirt underneath the car next to ours… So just to sum things up, we were off to a great start!

- We got into town and I then spent the next three hours or so walking around in awe that such a place can actually exist and wondering how/why I’d never made a trip to Nevada...

“They’ve actually legalized gambling and prostitution here!”

I obviously knew that ahead of time but seeing it in person made me realize that Vegas is actually my Mecca... so in a way, I was actually doing a decent job of being a Muslim, after all aren't they supposed to visit Mecca?

- Moe Greene was an unstoppable force at the Black Jack tables…

- I destroyed the Planet Hollywood Casino. I even began referring to their video roulette machine as "my ATM"... Caesar’s Palace… ummmm, not so much… Basically, I turned all my Planet Hollywood winnings [and then some] right over to Caesar's Palace.

This is followed by the revelation that I’d only be able to make the minimum payments on all my credit cards the following month… Vegas Baby!

- We return home as exhausted, dirty, sinful people, but at least we got a good shit story out the trip… And of course Moe Greene was not arrested for his earlier parking garage incident.

In short, it may have been the greatest 4 days of my life.

June- I’m back to posting… sort of… I had one sappy post about my wife (backlash from Vegas guilt), and then I played up the triumphant return of Film Vault Tuesday. I promised that it would be back again on a regular basis... I doubt I even believed that when I wrote it. This means I lied to you the reader...which was pretty much a recurring theme in 2007… who needs a drink?

July- I’ve got nothing for July… No posts… Nada… “The Dark Period” is in full swing!

August- In case you’re scoring at home, I had nothing for April or May, two lousy posts in June, and then I followed that up with two more months of absolutely nothing… To the untrained eye that would look like I basically took off for 5 straight months… but you’d be wrong… August, much like April was spent giving back to humanity… I spent the entire month teaching the illiterate hookers of India to read… See for yourself:

September- Things started off pretty slow. I had my mandatory “I promise to start posting more” post, but then at the end of the month I was struck with a nasty case of inspiration... I was officially ready for a comeback, only this time I meant it!

October- “It’s Brittney Bitch!”… before the blogging world even had a chance to brace itself for the awe inspiring wave that was my comeback I was firing off a virtual tour de force of posts ranging from creepy fantasies about women on the subway, to tips on making sure you get the most out of your strip club experience… I ended the month by switching religions for the second time in 2007 when I embraced Hinduism under a fog of alcohol and drowsiness.

November- This turned out to be a historic month for my blog as I said my long overdue goodbye to Asi Es and put “The Dark Period” officially behind me. I topped it all off by moving to my current home, Farting in the Shower… To my surprise most of my hardcore reader base actually came along for the ride… suckers… And oh yeah, Moe Greene almost died of a heart attack while sitting in a half empty movie theater!

December- I have to admit that this month has been a little on the slow side due to the holidays… But despite the fact that the newness of Farting in the Shower has worn off, I’m still pumping out mediocre blog posts and scarfing down cream cheese bagels… and I think that’s a good thing...

It was a rough year, but I'm still still here, and still blogging. Let's hope that 2008 won't include any "dark periods".