NEWS NEWS NEWS

Don’t let the shinny exterior fool you- this blog is still crap to the core!

I think that part of the reason I went into the long and ugly blogging slump was because my blog just felt stale… But now that I’m back a change seems not only appropriate but necessary.

I’d been brain storming ideas for a couple weeks, then on Wednesday morning inspiration struck while I was in the um… shower...

I won’t go into the details of how or in what form the idea came to me. I’ll just say it was profound- in an earth shattering kind of way.

In addition to the tasteful new blog name and super creative layout you may notice a couple of other new features… Mainly I’m referring to the “Farting in the Shower” official blog store located directly to your right in the side bar.

By clicking on that link you will be transported to a magical place where all your hopes and dreams come true… that’s right I’ve finally figured out a way for all of you to not only promote the blog but spend your hard earned cash in the process!

But before you write this store off as just some shameless way for me to expand my wealth and fame, there is something you should know… A portion of the proceeds from every item sold in the store will be donated to sick children a fat, broke blogger.

Also, FITS. [kick ass acronym huh?] might be adding a couple of writers in the near future. Basically anyone who can write something really funny but can also -you know- work for free might want to apply.

The benefit to this/these writers would be that they can write as much or as little as they want on the blog because- what the fuck do I care?

Also, they can use this blog/me to pad their resume. Basically, write down anything you want about your time spent as a FITS writer and if anyone calls me to verify the facts- I’ll confirm anything you want. Really, I have no problem with lying. I'm quite good at it actually.

So go ahead and write down that you were nominated for a Pulitzer Prize or that this blog was so fucking successful that you made 5 appearances on the Oprah Show over a 2 year stretch… whatever… Again the basic rule of thumb here is- what the fuck do I care?

Of course there are some material benefits… for example, how great would it be to have an unlimited supply of these from the FITS blog store?:

That's right, it's the official FITS thong- with the Old School "Asi Es" theme going on... You know, for when you need to feel a little Joel in a naughty place!