Happy Christmas Bitches!

Yesterday I was walking down the street rocking out to my iPod, completely immersed in my own little world… I had eaten some Peruvian Chicken for lunch about an hour earlier, and although it was very tasty it was just starting to disagree with my stomach a bit… Since I was basically walking alone on the street, when I felt some gas build up I didn’t think twice about letting one rip… Actually, I let more than one rip. We’re talking 3 or 4 consecutive farts.

But before you get all grossed out let me assure you that they weren’t stinky farts... I'd like to think of myself as an expert when it comes to my own flatulence, and I can say that I'm 99.9% sure that these were NOT stinky farts… but they were loud... Loud enough in fact that it made me double check that there was nobody else around.

You can probably see where this is going… Sure enough, when I turned around there was a woman walking no more 5 feet behind me. I guess the iPod had blocked out the sound of her clicking heels coming up behind me... Opps...

I was hoping that she hadn’t heard my non-stinky but very loud farts, but it only took an awkward half second of eye contact to know that indeed, she had heard… What's the proper protocol for when you accidentally fart on a stranger in public?

I thought about saying “excuse me” but decided instead to turn away quickly and the speed the pace of my walk up... You know, to get as far away from the scene of the crime as I could.

At first I wasn't sure I should post this story... After all, who would want to read my farting in public story? But then I remembered, you fuckers would!

This blog is called Farting in the Shower for a reason.

Anyway... I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and if that woman that I farted on about a block south of the Cannon House Office Building is reading this, let me sincerely say- my bad...