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Monday, July 17, 2006

Strung Out

When it comes to soccer, I try to limit myself to the big events; World Cup, European Cup, Copa de America, etc.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the sport; it’s just that I don’t have the space in my life… Right now I have University of Maryland Basketball and Football, the Washington Redskins, the Washington Wizards, and the Washington Nationals to worry about.

It’s not so much the time aspect that causes a problem (somehow all those teams rarely seem to bump into each other). The problem for me has always been the emotional commitment.

With Baseball and NBA Basketball the schedules are so long that your emotions never get too high or too low based on the team’s performance. You can also miss several games without feeling like you’ve lost anything… but with the NFL or College Basketball, that’s just not the case.

Every game is a must see, and every game has the potential to leave you an emotional wreck; Moe Greene has been known to let a Maryland Basketball losing streak put him in a psychotic state that is quite frankly- creepy…

In fact, there was a period in 2001 during a particularly frustrating losing streak when he could have legitimately been classified as a danger not only to himself, but to the people around him… We were one more home loss away from an intervention, and I’m only half-joking.

I guess my point is- Soccer is one of those “consuming” sports… If I were going to compare sports to illegal drugs, I’d say the NBA and Baseball are the soft stuff: alcohol, pills, marijuana, etc.

But Soccer, Football, and most forms of Collegiate Athletics would be classified as the hard core addicting stuff: coke, heroin, internet pornography, methamphetamines, etc.

And that’s why I’ve always tried to limit my Soccer intake… The last thing I need is another sport or another team to have control over my emotional wellbeing.

But what happens to people who experiment a little too much with a hard core drug? They get hooked.

And for me, it happened during this World Cup… I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened but sometime between the US’s first round abortion and Zidane’s now infamous head-but, I developed a habit.

As soon as the World Cup was over I crashed. I found myself in a desperate search of a Soccer fix.

I read article after article about the US coaching vacancy, I’ve read countless previews for the upcoming Premier League Season, and I’ve even begun re-reading Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby… Finally, still in desperate need for a fix, I contemplated watching some MLS games.

I knew it could be a mistake. I knew that if I watched a couple of DC United games I could become emotionally attached and subsequently sucked in... and that’s what I don’t need.

So to avoid all that, I settled on a full proof plan where I could get my fix without adding a new sports addiction… The plan was that I would ONLY watch occasional games and then follow the team with a passing interest through the internet/newspapers. That way my craving would be fed, yet I would remain safe and addiction free.

Well guess what? It didn’t work. I probably knew that plan was crap when I came up with it.

I’ve watched every second of the last two United games, and to be 100% honest, I actually watched a couple of games during the World Cup as well.

All in all I think I’ve seen all but 1 of their last 5 games and that one I missed was only because I was in Houston… At this point it would be hard to deny the fact that I have a problem. And the worst part is; it’s a pretty silly addiction to be stuck with.

While DC United are by all accounts the “Crown Jewel” of MLS Clubs, that’s a lot like being the Valedictorian of Summer School… Yeah they’re the best in the League, but we’re talking about a League that gets no respect, little publicity, and have attendances that regularly hover around 10,000 fans- even in the major market areas… (except for DC of course who usually get around 20,000 fans per game).

And let’s face it- the talent level in the MLS is questionable at best… Most rosters consist of aging stars who are past their primes and young players who have yet to achieve anything. Anybody worth watching has been or is about to be bought by the top European Clubs…

Now having said all that, I have somehow still found myself in the midst of this bizarre addiction… I called Moe Greene 3 (THREE!!!) times during a Friendly Match against a shorthanded Celtic FC team (DC destroyed them 4-0 in case you’re wondering)… and I practically forced him to watch us take on the Columbus Crew this past Saturday (3-2 victory for DC who have now gone 13 games without a lose and are dominating the standings).

I’ve also been looking at the team’s website a lot more than I care to admit. I’ve caught myself browsing Season Ticket prices at least 3 times (even though the season is halfway done), and I’ve been trying to calculate how much weight I would have to lose to fit comfortably into a 2X DC United Home Jersey… Also, I can neither confirm nor deny the rumors that my computer desktop is sporting a new Freddy Adu wallpaper.

Any sane person would realize that things are getting out of control and try to quit cold turkey… But that’s not what I’m doing… That’s right, my ultimate goal is not to break my addiction, but to drag my best friend down with me…

Like I said, I forced him to watch the Columbus Crew game with me, and even though his kids were a constant distraction (to him, not me) I think he enjoyed it.

He claims to have no interest in letting the team consume him in the way it has consumed me, but we’ll see… I have a few more tricks up my sleeve, and I’m not afraid to hit below the belt.

You see, Moe has 3 kids and none of them are old enough to fend for themselves. So that means he has NO time for him… His life has basically become a constant and never ending search for reasons to leave the house.

So in order to exploit that fact, I’m on the verge of purchasing 2 tickets to a DC United game… He doesn’t know it yet, but we aren’t far away from seeing our first live and in person Soccer game.

That’s right, he’s going to get a dangerous injection of MLS Soccer directly in his vein… whether he wants it or not.

If I’m going to be stuck in this absurd world of MLS Soccer addiction, I will not be alone!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

That’s what friends are foooooorrrr. . .lol. You’re such a good friend. Moe should count his blessings. ;)

-Sigh, this post reminds me so much of my good ‘ole Mavericks. I’m still got a bit of “Maverick’s lost” depression. I’m hoping it’ll go away during football season, I can only hope!

sonrisa morena said...

why?!??!oh why??!?! ;-)

i'm sure moe will most definetly appreciate you bringing him down with you...especially if you buy him a hot dog and a beer!!

Vanessa said...

A-ha! The World Cup sucked you in! I loved this post. I limit myself to the Mexican league because I refuse to let soccer dominate my life--it's too much of an emotional investment otherwise (not to forget time-wise, too).

El Paso doesn't have an MLS team, but we devote ourselves to the local Patriots team (part of the Premier Development League--a couple of pegs lower than MLS). First, just G. and I went to the games, but he managed to entice my sister & her husband, several friends, and his 2 sisters & their boyfriends. We make up quite a group of superfans! The Patriots aren't great soccer players--if MLS is valedictorian of summer school, the Patriots are classroom monitors. Another sign of their low-status--they play in a warehouse district and on a former practice field. But it's a chance to see live games, a few excellent goals, transform into English-type hooligans (I'm pretty dangerous with my noisemaker), and the hamburgers are delicious.

Last Friday, G. and I saw a doubleheader in Juarez. The heat was no deterrant for a chance to see excellent Mexican soccer talent. Also, we got the live game experience that can be so awesome. We sat by the Juarez team's (Los Indios) fan club and they chanted, sang, banged drums, jeered, and cursed for the entire game. Amazing dedication!! I loved it. I wanted to join them.

G. experienced a similar vivid soccer flush a couple of years ago. For a while, he was reading 10+ soccer-related websites daily (usually checking several times a day). One way he got me hooked on the world of soccer was recommending soccer books: Joe McGinniss's _The Miracle of Castel di Sangro_ is an excellent Italian soccer story for Moe to cut his teeth on. If that story doesn't intrigue him about the world of soccer, he has no heart. (soccer even gets you thinking melodramatically...)

And get him to those live games! I don't know how organized, rabid, or enthusiastic DC United fans are. Try to sit by anybody with a drum. Good luck :)

scaryice said...

DC United has one of the best teams in the history of MLS this year. It's a good time to get into it.

Mick & Cathy said...

As an Englishman we are introduced to Soccer at an early age, to us it is a way of life, it is about love and hate.
One great British manager Bill Shankley (Liverpool) once said "Football is not a game off life and death it is far more important than that".
My team Leeds United are currently struuggling in the 2nd flight of English soccer due to bad management taking them close to bankrupcy. Supporters stay loyal forever while mercenary players move on once you choose your team it is for life.
Vanessa mentions English hooligans, yes we have caused problems in the past but the behavior of England supporters at the world cup was amongst the best according to German police despite having by far the largest travelling support.
I have considered doing an blog article on the English Football gangs, their names and their rivals (been there seen it). During the 70's 80's and 90's the rivalry between fans was bigger than the teams.

Joel said...

cad- the pain a crushing sports defeat can leave (ecspecially when the team was as close as the Mavericks were) never really goes away totally. 10 years from now you'll see some replays from the Miami Series and it will stil sting.

sonrisa- he's actually allergic to barley so the beer is out... but we'll figure out some sort of replacment

vanessa- i remember that one of your first posts was about the El Paso Patriots, it was a great post- I hope you write about them more in the future... it's also funny that you mention that book because I bought it a while back, forgot about it, and just accidently found it still in the Barnes and Noble bag uder my bed! it's next on my list after I finish my Fever Pitch re-read.

Scaryice- I'd feel bad about jumping on the bandwagon, but since I'm from DC and follow all the DC teams I think I get a pass.

WRB- I've been reading a lot about English football (Fever Pitch) and I plan on watching some games once the season gets going... the only problem is we don't get that many games and so it's hard to follow a team... Plus I don't know all the history behind the clubs, I only have a vague knowledge of who is who... I did read that Leeds just signed or is about to sign a new player (David Livermore?) and I thought about you.

Vanessa said...

WRB--I meant no offense with my reference to soccer hooligans. I found coverage about them (of all nationalities) during the World Cup fascinating. Looking forward to reading your post.

Santiago said...

Since I coached soccer. It has been given me new meaning to the sport. It is like I found some glasses and learned to read. It is like everything made sense now. If I chose to be strung out on one sport...it would have to be soccer.

Mick & Cathy said...

Vanessa - I am not offended England has an hooligan/Gang culture problem but not to the same scale as in the 70's 80's & 90's. A lot of European nations have copied the so called "English disease" and are just as bad.
Englands police seem to be in control and a fact I didn't add was that almost 4,000 known football thugs had their passports removed to stop them travelling to Germany.
English Football Gang culture is actually a fascinating subject, I have been there and seen some of it, I will blog about it soon.
My clubs supporters are certainly no angels.

Cincysundevil said...

I've never gotten into the soccer thing although World Cup was great. I think I need a visit to the UK to really get into it. I'd love to go to a game there to see just how rowdy the fans are.

I wonder what European soccer fans might think about College football tailgating?

knibilnats said...

haha, i'm pretty close to going to my first soccer game too and of course, it'll be a DC United game.