Well, I'm in the middle of an internet problem at my house this week so my blog time will be very limited... Hence no Tuesday post and worse yet, now I'm falling behind on other people's blogs.
But while I have a minute here, something has been bugging me that I thought I'd share... An acquaintance of mine (a friend of a friend sort of thing) who recently graduated from The University of Maryland was just hired to do my dream job... He sent out applications all over the place (he was even rejected to be a production assistant on some show on the Animal Planet- how low is that!?) and then all of a sudden he gets an offer to be a paid, I repeat PAID blogger on some sort of sports related website... And get this, he will get paid per blog entry! If he wants to write a couple hundred posts a day he can do that and get paid for each and every one of them!
And what awe inspiring qualifications does this lucky bastard posses? Surely he must have written some exceptional articles for the University's newspaper? Or perhaps he already has his own popular and successful blog that he can boast of? Certainly he must having something, right????
Well, no actually... Nothing.
He's a really nice kid and I have enjoyed hanging out with him the 3 or 4 times I've met him, so you would think I'd be happy for him. But to be perfect honest- no, I'm not. Actually I'm insanely jealous... Green with envy... I'm angry... That should have been MY job!?
Sure, I only have like 20 or so readers, but you know what? That's 20 or so more readers than that fucker had before they gave him this gig!
Now he's going to be writing about Sports all day, and getting paid to do it!
Do you know how far I would go to land a job like that? How low I would stoop? How many people would I step on? How many backs I would plunge knives into? How many casting couches would I lay on? Let me just say, for the record, I would do just about anything to have that job...
So if you're reading this blog right now, and your looking to pay someone to ramble on about sports, or women's cleavage, or anything for that matter... I'm your guy.
Maybe you think that because I haven't enabled the advertising on my blog that I have too much artistic integrity to be bought... Let me assure you, that is not the case.
I can be bought, and you'd probably be surprised at how little it would cost you... I AM FOR SALE... I want you to want me... I need you to need me...
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Farting in the Shower is a ramblingand ecclectic mix of short stories, embarrasing confessions, pictures, and fast food reviews.
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16 comments:
Dude...that job should have been totally yours. Your sports commentaries have been on point. Sorry about the internet situation.
"Lucky Bastard" yes that about sums him up.
bitter...hmmm? i mean "damn him for taking your job!!!"
Awww...sounds like you are having a rough day..Go ahead and rant on about a job you should have had...TRUST ME...It happened to me this week too..EXACT SAME THING!!!
Hope everything else is ok with you..Its been a while since I have talked to you!
yeah, you're green with envy and i can't blame you for it. and we do want you. we look forward to reading your posts every tuesday. and i will not make you mad by telling you that there is a bigger and better paid blog job coming along for you. and if you manage to get a blogging job that pays you per post i will give you the next red stapler award.
gawd, i would be green with envy too, infact, i am. I'm envy with you. . ugh.
I would have hired you, no contest! seriously, who does he think he is. Have they read YOUR BLOG. . oh wait til he starts posting. . comment, and you leave your link, i'm sure they'll hire you in NO TIME!
damn, i need to re-read my notes before i post them. .that "I'm envy with you" makes no sense at all .. but u get what i'm saying. .right? lol
Why don't people edit their comments with the "preview" option before posting mistakes? Seriously, I don't understand this. I "preview" every time.
all I can say....is we need you...we just can't pay you :)
If your bloggers friends were REAL blogger friends, they would have suggested that you place a donation button at the top of your page. They then could pay you, too. I guess we now know the blogger community's true colors.
fucking wanker
It doesn't sound like a bad gig. I'd still like to be a college professor ... I'd get to teach like 3 or 4 classes a week; research and write on things I'm interested in; wear shorts to class everyday; and get paid pretty well.
Of course, my fave comedian, Dave Attell, has his dream job: "The manager of a chocolate factory run by big breasted hoookers."
and if moe was your true best friend he would have surprised you by setting
up that donation button himself. not just that--he would have set the example by making the first donation. because after all that's what best friends are for.
I feel for ya...in fact that's my dream job. I had no idea we wanted the same job. It's okay though, I'd let you have it.
e-rich- yeah well, I'm hung like a donkey.
erich- I've used it enough to father 2 of Moe Greene's 3 kids.
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