A Taste of Baltimore

As you all know, I'm a Washington Nationals fan... it's not easy to remain loyal to one of the worst franchises in sports, but I do it. Baseball has always been my passion and after waiting the first 25 years of my life for baseball to return to the district, I'm not about to bail out just because the team sucks. Besides... the only local alternative we have is the Baltimore Orioles. A team just as dysfunctional and laughable as my Nationals.

Many of my friends and family are Orioles fans actually, and they still have one of the best two or 3 ballparks in baseball, so I find myself making the half hour drive up I-95 a couple times a year to take in one of their games.

That's what I found myself doing on Monday actually... it was opening day for the O's, and my Nationals were starting the season on the road in Florida. A couple of friends from work got hooked up with 3 really great seats about 10 rows behind home plate. I've never sat in seats like that so I could hardly turn down their offer.

As luck would have it, after Vice President Biden threw out the ceremonial first pitch he ended up sitting in our section. Even though I work on Capitol Hill and occasionally encounter famous politicians, it was still pretty surreal to have the VP sitting 10 rows directly in front of me. I couldn't stop watching him the entire time he was there.

Biden hung around for the first 2 innings before leaving. While he was there he signed every autograph, shook every hand, and posed for every picture he could. Secret Service and stadium ushers offered to keep fans at bay, but he didn't seem that bothered by them.

Anyway, before he left, he got a real glimpse at Baltimore, and true Oriole fans.

There was a mid-twenties couple sitting two rows ahead of me, which put them a mere 8 rows behind the VP. They were true Baltimore people, accents and all. Straight out of "The Wire". If you're not familiar with the area, just picture the people of South Boston only with a different accent... They're not from "Baltimore, Maryland," they're from "Bawl'mer, Murlan," they don't root for the "Orioles," they root for the "Oh-Ree-Ohs", and they love to call people "hun", which is short for "honey".

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not looking down on the accent, in fact, a lot of people in my hometown of Frederick, MD, have a variation of the accent. I sometimes catch myself occasionally saying something with a slight accent, although not as often as Moe Greene.

Anyway, so there is the Bawl'mer couple sitting two rows ahead of me, 8 rows behind Joe Biden. Orioles heart throb Brian Roberts is warming up in the on-deck circle, and the girl, who despite the pancake make-up, nose ring, and "Joey" tattoo on her wrist, was actually somewhat attractive. She stood up from her seat and began to yell out, "Brian Roberts, I love you, I want to kiss you!"

Roberts was only a few feet away from us so he probably heard the girl begging for a kiss. I'm sure he hears that kind of thing at every home game so he was unphased and continued on with his routine. Joe Biden was even closer to the girl than Roberts was so he definitley heard her.

The girl called out a couple more times before finally sitting down in frustration... At this point her boyfriend stood up (not sure if he was the famous 'Joey' from the tattoo on her wrist ) cups his hands around his mouth, and yells out as loud as he can, "Hey Brian, my girlfriend wants to kiss you where you pee!"

Eveything went silent... Heads started to turn around to see who made the comment. Rich old ladies looked disgusted. A Secret Service agent stood up to get a peak at what was going on. An usher came over and gave the guy a stern warning about proper ettiqute.

For his part, the guy wasn't the least bit embarrased. He looked legitimatly confused that it had been such a big deal. As he sat down, I heard him say to his girlfriend, "I guess it's a good thing I didn't yell that you wanted to give him a b.j."

Welcome to Baltimore Vice President Biden!

The game ended up being pretty eventful. The "Oh-ree-Ohs" were beating up on the Yankees, then the Yankess made a bit of comeback, before the only Oriole player I actually like, Cesar Izturis, put the game away with a two-run homerun in the 8th.

It's not often that the Orioles get a notable win against the Yankees, so O's fans were quick to celebrate. You can probably guess which O's fan was leading the "Yankees Suck" chant in our section!