Life in the Fast (food) Lane

I have to start off this latest LFFL by telling you all what an awful human being Moe Greene is… He promised everyone he would be putting up his first review on Tuesday. As you may have noticed, Tuesday has come and gone… still no sign of Moe.

I suppose he’s got a bunch of excuses about how he’s the father of 3 young kids, works two jobs, helps coach softball, and blah blah blah… but the bottom line is, Moe let us all down.

If you ask me, those kids need to start fending for themselves. The sooner they realize that they’re alone in this world and that they can’t rely on other people, the better off they’ll be. As far as I’m concerned, Moe should just leave them alone in the house for a couple of weeks and let them figure shit out on their own.

I’m not saying he should be cruel about it… Maybe he could leave some ramen noodles, toilet paper, and bottled water to help their chances at surviving, but that's about as far as he should go. If they make it… Great… And if not… well that's just Darwinism at work.

The bottom line is, he needs to get back to taking care of things that are really important, like making our blog better and talking to me on the phone about baseball and video games.

Maybe one day he’ll step up and start being the decent friend and blogger we all deserve. But until then, you’ll just have to be satisfied with my review:

Wendy's Premium Fish Fillet Sandwich, Large Fries, Large Coke

Wendy’s describes their newest sandwich thusly, “Hand-cut fillets of North Pacific cod in a crisp Panko crumb breading, served with crisp lettuce and creamy tartar sauce on a warm bun...”

I'm not sure what the hell "Panko" is, but I'd say that is a good assessment. They've been pushing this new fish fillet and the Baconator (which will be reviewed soon) pretty hard over the last few weeks. In the radio ads I’ve heard them make a big deal about this sandwich being “cod”, and how “other fish fillets" are just generic mystery fish. That’s clearly directed towards McDonald’s who make the gold standard as far as the fish fillet is concerned. Burger King does make a pretty decent fillet, but it’s not something they really try to market.

Since this sandwich is being promoted as a better alternative to the McDoanld’s fillet, that’s what I’ll be comparing it to.

Location: I picked it up at the Wendy’s in the Briggs Chany Shopping Center in Silver Spring, MD. It’s a very busy shopping center and even though an over pass and redesign of the entire intersection took place only a couple of years ago, it’s still a big pain in the ass to get in and out of the place. No matter how quickly you get through their drive-thru, you always end up stuck at a light or waiting in line to get stuck at a light for a good 10 minutes.

Service: Really fast… No issues at all (aside from the traffic, which isn’t their fault). I’ve been to this location probably a dozen times in my life and I’ve never had to wait long for my food or go back because they screwed something up. By contrast, there’s a McDonald’s located right next to the Wendy’s and their drive-thru always seems to be jam packed and moving along slowly, if at all.

On a couple of occasion, I’ve pulled into the shopping center with the intent to go through the McDonald’s drive thru, only to be put off by the line of cars and chosen Wendy’s instead. Sometimes when I pull out of the Wendy’s drive-thru, I can see that the McDonald’s line hasn’t even moved.



Meal Review: Let’s get the fries out of the way first… They suck. They’re slightly bigger and thicker than McDoanld’s fries, but they have no taste. You can add all the salt or ketchup in the world but it still doesn’t hide the fact that their fries just aren’t very appealing. And somehow, they’re almost always cold. Wedny's is one of the better fast food places in terms of delivering a fresh product, but somehow those fries always manage to be lukewarm at best. I almost always ask them to swap out the fries for something else.

I like that about Wendy’s… they know their sides are below average, so they at least give you the option of picking your favorite below average side… I usually go with the chili, but in this case I went with the fries because that’s what most people do… and of course, they were cold and bland.

Now we let’s get to the sandwich… I have to admit that when I got the thing unwrapped my initial reaction was: “this isn’t very big…” But then again, we’re comparing it to the McDonald’s fillet and that’s not very big either. I’d say the Wendy’s fillet is thicker, whereas the McDonald’s fillet is wider. In the end they’re probably just about even in that respect.

But in every other category, the Wendy’s fillet is superior.


The meat is firmer, the breaded crust on is crispier, and the taste is just plain better. It may be that I’ve been influenced by their marketing campaign, but I really could taste the superior quality in the Wendy’s fillet.

The only complaint I have is that there wasn’t enough tarter sauce. In reviewing my pictures, I can see that there was some sauce on the sandwich, but I certainly couldn’t taste it. This of course is a delicate balance. Too much sauce and it overwhelms the taste of the fish and leaves you with a soggy bun… not enough sauce and you’re left with a dry sandwich. They should probably give you the tarter sauce on the side. If my sandwich is going to be fucked up, I’d prefer to be the one who fucks it up.

Cost: This is where McDonald’s can win back some points… The Wendy’s fillet is like $3.75, with the combo coming out to something around $6. The McDonald’s fillet is usually around $3, but they’ve been running specials in my area for a while now and I think you can get it for like $2 now… So the question is, does the superior quality of the Wendy’s fillet justify paying more money? I say yes, but it’s not like the McDonald’s fillet is all that bad... On the contrary, it’s quite tasty. So I’m sure there are some people out there who would disagree with me that the taste justifies the cost increase.

Obesity Breakdown: The sandwich was 470 calories and 24 grams of fat. The fries were 550 calories and 26 grams of fat… The Coke had 270 calories, giving us a grand total of 1290 calories and 50 grams of fat. That’s actually more calories than my Bojangles fried chicken meal, which really surprises me.

Summary: I’m giving it a rating of 8 / 10. It’s a great sandwich but the fries are below average, and you probably need to throw in a 5 piece-nuggets for an extra buck if you’re at all hungry.