Wax Your Pole... its the Law!

For the first time in way too long, I went to a strip club last night... It had been so long that I'd forgotten many of my own advice from my old Asi Es -- A Strip Club Guide . By my count I broke 3 of my rules.

[3] "Don't be part of the crowd"... I went to one of the of the higher class, over priced, and well known clubs in DC.

[5] "Don't go during the day"... pretty self explanatory.

[6] "Never use a credit card"... one of the cardinal rules, a rule I'd always vowed never to break.

Now in my defense, this was the going away party for a coworker of mine and so he picked the venue, which explains breaking rule #3... and since we went after work we had no choice but to walk in around 4 pm, which explains breaking rule #5 [I should also say that when we walked out 6 hours later it was late at night so I only halfway broke that rule anyway]... now as far as the credit card goes, I'll have to explain that one later on in the post...

But despite breaking so many rules, I still had a great time. I'd say it was a top 10 strip club experience... the girls at the higher end places are obviously usually of a higher caliber --which is a good thing-- of course this often means you sacrifice a bit in the performance department --which is a bad thing. But for the most part that wasn't the case at this club... In fact "Cynthia" from Colombia actually gave me a little more attention then I was comfortable with, and that's something I never thought I'd hear myself say about a stripper.

And every great strip club adventure needs to have some sort of bizarre or surreal event, and we had that as well...

When we first got into the place one of the more acrobatic girls was in the middle of her routine, making good use of the stripper pole... she was a very talented young lady, no doubt inspired by the Olympic gymnastics being shown on the TV by the bar.

Anyway, when the atletic girl finished up her set, "Chastity" came up next sporting a naughty cheerleader outfit. (Just in case you're wondering, the school name on her cheerleader outfit was the "University of Pink"... I hear they have a really good engineering program)

But before "Chastity" could give us a display of her school spirit she pulled out a wash rag and bottle of Windex... At first I thought maybe she was confused about her outfit. Shouldn't she be wearing the "maid" outfit when using cleaning products as a prop? But then she proceeded to thoroughly wipe down the stripper pole and surrounding stage... And not in a sexy or provocative way either. She was really trying to clean up... And for good measure she even turned around and gave the mirror behind the stage a quick wipe down as well!

My friend and I were befuddled. Was this the world's first germ-freak stripper? Maybe she had OCD? Or was she possibly trying to say something about the intimate pole work done by her predecessor?

Finally after she sterilized everything within 10 feet of the pole she began her routine and I made my way towards the stage with a fist full of $1's... I wasn't planning to ask about her pre-dance clean up, but in the 20 minutes since we'd arrived I'd already downed three $13 Rum 'n Cokes and curiosity got the better of me... When she came over I asked, "What's the deal with the Windex?"

It turns out "Chastity" didn't have OCD or any germ phobias at all (which was a bit of a disappointment)... it's just some archaic law in the District of Colombia about cleaning up the pole and stage area between dances. According to "Chastity", most every other club in the city ignores this rule... but not at this place!

And that's when I decided it would be okay to pay the bar tab with my credit card. Not only has this place been in business for a couple decades now (with as good a reputation as a strip club can have) but I figure that if they make their strippers spray the stage down with Windex in between performances they probably wouldn't try anything funny with the billing... Lets hope I was right.