A few months ago I had a good idea for a blog post that I'm just now getting around to writing... actually CAD had a good idea for a blog post*, and my plan is to steal that idea.**
Her idea was to take a classic group writing exercise that starts with an open ended story intro and then has members of the group add on to the story... I'm not suggesting that CAD was the first person to ever convert this exercise to a blog, but since she's so cute and so talented, and I'm so blatantly ripping her off I felt I should at least tip my hat to her.
Anyway, some creative people read this blog and if everyone participates it should turn out pretty well... So here is the intro, you guys take it from here:
Joel finally made it back home at around 4 am. He was exhausted, sore, bruised, and thankful to still be alive. As he collapsed into his bed for some well deserved sleep he thought to himself, “Damn, that’s the last time I ever…”
*here is CAD's Continue the Story post, feel free to add on to it. If you'll notice, the highlight of the post is undoubtedly my part, when I turn evil Dallas Cowboy Quarterback Tony Romo into a date rapist with a black van. I'd like to think that this somehow caused Romo to play like crap at home in the playoffs in the Cowgirls loss to the Giants.
** the footnotes to a blog post is another idea I stole... from the artist formerly known as Cracked Chancla, aka Chanclita Divina. I have no problem stealing from other blogs. In case you ever find yourself wondering why my blog sucks so much, its probably because YOU haven't come up with enough good ideas on your blog for me to steal. So before you point your finger at me, take a long hard look in the mirror you bastard!
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Farting in the Shower is a ramblingand ecclectic mix of short stories, embarrasing confessions, pictures, and fast food reviews.
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Bet anyone that I can't ride a real bull. I thought the beers would help, but I think they just made it worse. This was his last thought before he began to dream about...
...rita the peter eater!*/**/***
(http://fartingintheshower.blogspot.com/search?q=rita+the+peter+eater)
*i'm worried that comment moderation will affect flow of story but was meant to go after santiago's comment.
**you should also know that this is how mr. cd knows you, the blogger from dc?
mr. cd: who's dcnats?
me: you 'member, rita the peter eater?
i sometimes relate good blog posts at dinner.
*** sorry, i don't know how to create links within comments.
... ah yes, the rita the peter eater night was a crazy night that Joel could never forget. When he dreams about it though it doesn't have such a simple ending. He doesn't find his phone in the floor of his car. Rita really has it... as he pulls up to the spot where he had last seen Rita she is still standing there, taunting him as she waves the phone at him.
furious, he puts the car into park before he had even come to a complete stop. He proceeds to jump out of his car and....
...dive into a nearby garbage dumpster when he realizes who he thought was Rita was really a crazy man who looked like Steven Tyler if he were dead.
Nervous and considering his next move, Joel notices a torn trash bag with what appears to be a gun inside. As he reaches to inspect the package, Joel is suddenly aroused by the soud of tires screeching and the loud revving of an engine. He looks up to see that a group of shadowy figues has gotten into his car and driven away!
Furious, Joel decides to take the gun and go after them. But just as he reaches inside the bag to grab the gun he discovers the severed head of...
Courtney Love! "What the fuck?!?!?!", Joel exclaims. He's not surprised to see the head of Courtney Love, but how in the hell did she wind up in Baltimore?
After tossing the head to the side, Joel escapes the dumpster and gives chase. It's only 20 yards later that he...
...stops to wonder, "How could I have mistaken a severed head for a GUN?" No time to think though, Joel had a car to chase down. Pumping his arms and knees Tom-Cruise-style, Joel careened around the corner just in time to see the shadowy figues standing around his now totalled car. As he got closer, Joel realized they'd run headfirst into...
Ed Norton! Joel's favorite actor is from the Baltimore suburb of Columbia, Maryland... AND he used to date Courtney Love! That explains how Courtney's severed head ended up in Baltimore... Ed Norton must have dumped it there!
But even with that mystery solved, Joel was still left in the middle of a Baltimore ghetto, with a squashed Ed Norton, the severed head of Courtney Love, still no cell phone, and now no car... He knew there was only one thing to do, he went directly to a pay phone and made a collect call to....
Jack Bauer from the show 24. I am sure he will know what to do and send a car to pick me up.
...But he doesn't accept the call! What a bastard! Doesn't he know how this kind of operation works?
"looking for this?" joel turns his head slowly. only one person in the world can taunt him with such a simple question.
its rita! she's holding a cell phone.
"damn you woman, will you ever go away?"
rita begins laughing, head thrown back and that's when joel notices that she looks different this time. her k9's are looking real fangy this time around...
of day light savings. the hour makes a big difference...physical change..to rita. She is walking towards Joel, heading straight to his neck. Joel looks around to see where he can run but...
before he can move, Joel feels Rita's cold grasp on his arm, holding him in place with her otherwordly strength.
"You left me once, I can't let that happen again" Rita hissed.
As she closes on her prey, fangs bared, ready to make Joel eternally hers, Rita is briefly stunned when a pair of soiled underwear strikes her in the head.
Out of the shadows emerges a masked and caped Moe Greene, who proceeds to....
downsize her face with a shovel.
The end.
Good exercise, Joel. Looking forward to the next one...
damn it, i missed it! crap. this is what i get for not checking my newsfire more often.
ah well, next time. . .
i was going to turn moe greene gay. u know. . to make it fictional and all. ;)
aw man. i was gonna add something after the "running headfirst into..." part but couldn't think of anything. now i'm too late.
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