One of my favorite bloggers and inventor of the Red Stapler award, Chanclita Divina, recently wrote about a fantasy she sometimes has while sitting in traffic… Basically, she imagines her car being able to fly over the traffic and drop her off safely at home. Her fantasy revelation freaked me out a bit because I actually find myself having that same fantasy just about every time I’m stuck in traffic.
To make it even stranger, it turns out she has even gone so far as to worry about how congested air traffic might get if everyone had a car that could fly them home… which is a problem I too used to grapple with during my flying car fantasy as well!
I say that I “used to” think about this problem because in my fantasy, I actually went so far as to come up with a solution to the flying car traffic issue… The solution is as simple as it is genius; I came to the conclusion that everyone should be limited to 100 car flights per lifetime.
That way people would only use their car flight ability when they really needed it, and air traffic/air accidents would be greatly limited… So if you had a medical emergency for example; or if you were late for some really important meeting you might use one of your 100 flights... but for something like "I've been sitting in my car so long my left cheek is starting to get sore", you'll probably just deal with it.
But that's not actually the only rules or regulation for the Car Flight that I've come up with… For example, there should be an age limit... Even though you can drive on the road at 16, you should have to be at least 18, maybe even 21 before you can make your car fly!
And people should be able to donate one of their Car Flights to another person… For example, if my wife makes us really late for something important she should have to donate one of her car flights so that I don’t have to use one of mine.
And what about cross country trips? Let's say you’re driving all the way down to
I say ‘no’... The Car Flight time limit should be 24 hours… Your Car Flight will last for one whole day. No more, no less.
So a couple months ago when we thought Moe Greene was dying of a heart attack and I had to drive him to the hospital, I would have used one… and then when I got home that night I could have woken my wife up and been like “hey I had to use a Car Flight so get up and get dressed because I’ve still got 22 hours left on the flight. We're going to
I doubt Chanclita has gone as far with her flying car fantasy world as I have… in fact, I doubt anyone has… I consider myself to be the nation's leading foremost expert on the flying car fantasy.
But still, despite reaching expert status, my fantasy is not without flaws… For example, who should enforce the Car Flight limit? Maybe it could be associated with your drivers license and the local government has to keep track of how many you’ve used… Maybe it should be Federal... Of course either way I can already picture ass holes like Lou Dobbs screaming about the immigrant uses of Car Flights in this country and what not…
And what if someone ran out of Car Flights but then had a medical emergency? Should they really not be allowed to fly to the hospital if they’re bleeding to death? Maybe extra car flights could be available for a fee? But that would only lead to the rich being able to have unlimited Car Flights, and that certainly wouldn’t be fair.
I know one thing, I would probably run out of Car Flights by the time I reached 40… I can already picture myself using Car Flights to try and impress women… “Wow you would use a Car Flight just for me?”
And what about flying over water? That doesn’t sound very safe… What if you ran out of gas?
And speaking of gas, would making your car fly use less or more gas than driving on the road? It would have to be more, right? And how would that affect gas prices? I hope they wouldn’t go up too much more…
Shit, now I’m depressed… I can’t even come up with all the answers in my own fantasy world!
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8 comments:
In my fantasy, it would be a helicopter car. I think that would be cool. I think everyone has that fantasy.
Yeaaaaah...when I'm stuck in traffic I day dream about walking on top of the cars all the way home. Hopping from the bed of the pick up truck to the roof onto the trunk of a sedan, skipping sideways to grab onto a dumptruck...I envision my path as far ahead as I can see. But why would I walk when I could have FLOWN home??
Have I mentioned how happy am I that you're blogging regularly again?
I've thought about flying cars, zipping over traffic, and air-traffic too... but you're waaaay ahead of me (and probably anybody else).
Oh... and people think our generation is unimaginative.
This is one of my favorite posts. Ever.
Is there a speed limit to flying cars?
santiago- Ive thought about the heli-car, but where would the propellers go when you're on the road... in the car/plane it works because the wheels could flip down and become rocket boosters!
lauren- why wouldnt you just walk on the side of the road? it seems to me that all that climbing would only slow you down... unless you had super power jumping ability.
cindy- it seems like everyone with the flying car fantasy has thought about air traffic, but to my knowledge I'm the only one to come up with a plan to reduce it! maybe i should run for office and make the flying car fantasy my platform... i could be like, "...but my opponent has yet to even come up or share with us even a basic plan of action to confront the future problems of air traffic!"
hector- ive thought about that a lot... i think that the cars should go normal car speeds, but no limits should be necessary, just if you want to go faster than the car ahead of you, you go up a little higher... kinda like switching lanes only you go up instead of left. the only issue would be that if you had to get into a really high "lane" you might have trouble seeing where you're going.
The man with the flying cars pokes holes in my traffic-beating fantasy. Ouch!
and we haven't even touched on the danger of how much more common air collisions would become and what would happen to these vehicles when they would land on a clueless pedestrian out on a morning walk...
Flying cars less likely? Looks like someone else has also thought about this.
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