Last week as I was riding the long Capitol South escalator down to the subway, a yuppie couple in front of me caught my eye... The first thing I noticed was that the man was carrying his wife's teal jacket. Then I realized that he was standing to the left of his wife, blocking anyone else on the escalator from walking past them.
As some of you may know....this has long been a major pet peeve of mine-- people that don't know to stay to the right on escalators.
As if the escalator ignorance and the jacket carrying alone wasn't enough to deserve the scorn of any man, the situation got worse... with a line of hurried people quickly approaching the man continued to block the path. I thought once he heard the parade of commuters approaching, he would get the hint. But he didn't!
I don't know if it was malicious, but at the very least it was negligent to the point that it made me (and the line of people he was blocking) want to hurl curse words at him.
Finally, his wife had to physically reach out, grab him by his hips, and then pull him in front of her to allow enough space for people to get by.
Next, she then proceeded to wrap her arms around this disgrace of a man's waist and cradle him in her arms! She even gave him a quick kiss on the back of his neck!
This is a position you often see in reverse-- a man standing behind his wife or girlfriend, arms wrapped around their waist. I'm not against this kind of embrace behind closed doors, but in public, it's a fairly disgusting display of public affection.
After much thought, I've determined that this guy was the least manly man I've ever seen in my life... He was carrying his wife's jacket, he didn't know to move to the right, his wife had to physically move him (by the hips!), and then he let her basically announce to anyone standing by that he was in fact- her bitch!
What would a guy like that have to do to redeem his manhood? Win an arm wrestling competition? Kill a bear with a pocket knife? Pick a fight with a PCP crazed biker gang? Perform a self amputation of his thumb? Is there anything this guy could ever do to reestablish himself as a man?
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Farting in the Shower is a ramblingand ecclectic mix of short stories, embarrasing confessions, pictures, and fast food reviews.
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3 comments:
Girly man could come kick your ass in a parking lot. That's the only thing, in my book, that'll restore his credibility.
Hi DC,
I thought I would comment on this post as I had a similar scenario take place last night. One of my friends from home called me last night, and asked what I was doing. I could have lied and said I was about to change the oil on my car, but I did not. Instead, I admitted that I was in the middle of making BROWNIES, while my girl sat on the sofa. My buddy almost died when I told him. In his words what was next? My girl saying the following: "Can you bring me a beer after you put the brownies in the oven?"
-beto crocker -
Hahaha...what a wuss.
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