MAKING HISTROY

Ladies and gentleman we have reached an historic moment in the storied history of this blog… That’s right, this is my 100th post!

In the 100 post history of this blog we’ve reviewed a bunch of forgotten movies, we’ve confessed our sins, we’ve probably learned a little more than we’ve ever wanted to know about each other.

We’ve come to the conclusion that you should never leave your wife around Hector (or Sonrisa for that matter.

We’ve had heated political discussions, we’ve learned the proper etiquette for the Chinese Buffet, and we’ve discovered what can happen if you try to dunk a basketball with a popsicle in your mouth.

I’ve written a few good posts (3 or 4 by my count) and many, many mediocre ones (the Blog is called Tales of Mediocrity for a reason)…

We found out that Moe Greene is a boy toucher who’s been infected with gonorrhea 3 times… and that I have gorgeous blue eyes… (one of those statement may not be true, but I’ll let you use your best judgment to decide which one that is)

In honor of this 100th post, I’ve decided to dust off Film Vault Tuesday and bring it back… I know, I know, you can hardly contain the euphoria running through your veins… it’s a special occasion indeed. So special in fact that even “Rosie the Cat” has decided to get dressed up for the triumphant return.














As you can see, Rosie is a big fan of the “Popped Collar” look on her polo shirts… That’s what happens when you let your cat watch too much MTV… She actually thought we were shooting a Kanye West video.

But enough about my cat, it time for FILM VAULT TUESDAY!!!! [insert applause]

FILM: ALADDIN (1992)

CAST: Robin Williams, Gilbert Godfrey, and a bunch of people that do cartoon voices.

WHY: I was 12 years old when this movie came out. That means I had passed the age where it was still expectable to go see a Disney movie, but I was still young enough that I secretly wanted to see it… Luckily for me I had a little sister and that was my excuse… And I used the excuse many, many times.

Last Christmas it finally came out on DVD and my sister bought it for me. I hadn’t seen it in years, but somehow the movie still held up… I know Robin Williams is a washed up and annoying actor/comedian now, but let’s not forget that Williams was at his absolute peak during the time they made this movie… He had a 2 year run when he was the guy if you were making a comedy… Then he fell off a bit before coming back as a semi-serious actor who managed to nail several rolls in a row, the peak of which was his Good Will Hunting Oscar victory… Of course now we’re all wishing he would just go away… But regardless, he was laugh out loud funny in Aladdin. Just watch the movie if you don’t believe me… Aladdin and Toy Story are the only 2 kids movies that ever managed to make me laugh out loud, and they both stand the test of time.

Gilbert Godfrey also does a great job as Iago, an evil conniving Parrot… And also props to Aladdin’s monkey who, if there were any real justice in Disney movies, would have been the one to nail Princess Jasmine (who was a piece of ass by the way).

REMOTE SCENE STOPPER: Of course that has to be the Magic Carpet Ride where they sing “A Whole New World”… The soundtrack version was a HUGE hit that year, but the movie version is way better. I’m singing the words in my head right now as I type this… but before you start thinking I’m soft, I have a few things to say about Aladdin… He was a total bitch… First his dumb ass gave Jaffar the Magic Lamp when they were trying to get out of the cave. If it hadn’t been for the Monkey, the movie would have been over right there! The Monkey was a thug by the way… He and the Magic Carpet saved Aladdin’s ass way too many times if you ask me. They never got enough credit.

But my main beef with Aladdin is at the end of the Carpet ride… If you remember correctly, he was afraid to even go for a kiss on the balcony. The Magic Carpet had to give him a little nudge to get the job done!?

And let me just say, Princess or not, if I take some broad on a MAGIC CARPET RIDE that ends with a personal FIREWORKS SHOW, I’m getting a whole lot more than a kiss… Had I been given the role of Aladdin I would have destroyed the ‘G’ rating right there on that balcony!

TEAR/GOOSEBUMP: I get goosebumps at two points in the movie, never fails… [1] as soon as the Genie is released from the lamp the first time, and [2] when that bitch Aladdin releases the Genie at the end.

OVERALL: Without question, this is one of the Top 3 or 4 Disney movies ever made… While I do have some issues with Aladdin and his manhood, I give the movie an 8.5 out of 10.