Random Things I Thought About While...

...Trying to figure out why my cat knocks the cup of pens off my desk every night:


- I wonder if I could get laser hair removal on my head? Razors are getting expenisve.

- Has anybody ever asked George Bush who Jesus would bomb?

- After the Marlins debacle, the Nats need to sweep the Braves to have a realistic hope of getting back into the Wild Card Race... In other words, the season is over and I'm hoping we can just manage to finish the season with a winning record.

- Watching Norv Turner's Raiders lose to the Patriots last night took me back to the Turner Era in Washington... Not good times, bad times... He reminds me of a gifted lawyer with a drinking problem. He could be great if he could pull himself together but until that day comes he just keeps showing up to court late with bed head and the wrong brief case... It's only a matter of time before Randy Moss throws a fit on the sidelines and Kerry Collins decides to skip a practice to go bar hoping.

- I'm always amazed at how many good people will blatantly lie to an Insurance Company... Don't get me wrong, even though I'm employed by one I think that they are basically evil... But seriously I get lied to everyday and it gets old, actual conversation I had the other day:

ME: So let me get this straight ma'am, you own 4 cars but you're the only one listed on the policy, and the only one who will drive the vehicles... [Heavy sarcasm in my voice]

Sweet Old Lady: Yes [serious look on her face even though we both know she's lying]

ME: And your husband's license is currently suspended, but you PROMISE that he's not driving any of your 4 cars?

Sweet Old Lady: Oh no, he won't drive any of the cars.

ME: So why do you have for cars, is it for work? [giving her the chance to somehow explain away her blatant lie b/c my Manager is now listening]

Sweet Old Lady: Oh I don't work...

ME: (disgusted and frustrated look on my face, screaming in my mind) THEN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE FOUR CARS FOR, AND WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF AN UNLICENSED DRIVER HAD AN ACCIDENT IN ONE OF YOUR VEHICLES!?!?!

- Do you think the Bush twins ever went through a rebellious stage where they plastered Che posters on the wall and threatened to join Amnesty International? Or was their rebellion more subtle, like joining a less-conservative branch of the Young Republicans and occasionally watching Bill Mahr with the volume turned down really low?

- Why are Guatemalans called "Chapines?" I always thought it was a derogatory but my wife saw a guy in the mall yesterday wearing a shirt that said "Yo Soy Chapin!"

- In "The Karate Kid", why did Daniel La Russo turn the hose on Johnny Lawrence while he was in the bathroom? Johnny had already beaten him up on the beach, pushed him down a hill while riding his bike, and frightened him into altering his path everyday just to avoid him... Did he really think that the hose would help the situation? Didn't Daniel on some level, deserve a beating for that?