Don't Worry About Animal

Have you ever noticed that when you learn a new word, see a new movie, or find out some new fact, all of a sudden it starts popping up in your life?

You find out that “canard” is a word used to describe “an unfounded, false, or fabricated report or story”; then two days later you hear someone describe Lou Dobbs’ entire career as a case study in the use of “canards” and suddenly, it all makes sense.

If you finally decide to sit down and watch a famous movie that you’d never bothered to see before, I guarantee that you’ll hear at least a half-dozen references to that movie over the next few months. Is it just a coincidence, or have you been unconsciously suppressing references to that movie for years? It’s hard to say.

On Monday I was listening to a “This American Life” podcast entitled “The Wrong Side of History,” when a perfect example of the topic of the show popped up into my life.

In the segment in question, Adam Davidson --an international economics correspondent for NPR-- is trying to convince his cousin D.J. that he has made a horrible mistake by dropping out of college. To help him win his argument, Adam elicits the opinions of Pietra Rivoli, an economics professor at Georgetown.

Without getting into all of the details, D.J. has gone through a series of blue-collar construction jobs. Surprisingly, Dr. Rivoli says that she’s not worried about D.J. or his future. She says that the people she worries about are low-skilled workers whose jobs have been, or will be outsourced. There will always be a need for blue-collar skilled workers. This country will always need people to drive trucks, repair cars, and build houses.

It’s all a matter of perception. Professional people are sometimes guilty of confusing education with intelligence, which is a terrible mistake. I’ve known people with graduate degrees that I wouldn’t hire to be a crossing guard, and conversely, two of the most intelligent men I’ve ever known only managed to get to the 10th grade.

I was walking to work as I was listening to this podcast. I have a routine I go through every morning. As soon as I get in, I walk over to the boiler room where the snack machines are located. I buy a 20 oz bottle of Dr. Pepper and one small bag of Cheeze-Its. The noise in the boiler room usually drowns out the sound of my ear-buds, so I paused the podcast discussion between Adam and D.J.

When I got to the machines I was hit with the terrifying realization that the soda machine was only accepting exact change; all I had were three $1 dollar bills. The soda is $1.50 and the Cheeze-Its are $0.90. The math didn't add up... Anybody who really knows me knows that if my routine gets thrown off in any way, shape, or form, I’m a total mess. I needed that Dr. Pepper. I needed those Cheeze-Its.

Not knowing what to do, I simply stood there staring at the machines for roughly 30 seconds in total disbelief.

Suddenly, a maintenance mechanic by the name of “Animal” walked up on the scene… let me give you some background on “Animal”. First of all, I have no idea what his real name is. I’ve known the guy for 4 years and I’ve never heard anyone call him anything other than “Animal”. He’s like 5’5” with long, unruly hair, a thick beard; he smells like beer, he’s always smoking a cigarette, and I once saw him shoot a snot rocket 30 feet across the parking garage of the Rayburn House Office Building… He reminds me a little of Charles Manson only his hair is brown as opposed to black.

So anyway, “Animal” walks up, looks at me, and looks at the machine, sizing up the situation… Without saying a word he takes a dollar bill from my hand, slides it into one of the other machines, presses the “return change” button, and out come 4 quarters…

“Now you got exact change,” he mumbled as he handed me the change and walked away. A cigarette was dangling from his lip the entire time.

It was the perfect scenario to bring my podcast discussion to life… Blue-Collar skill isn’t going anywhere, education doesn’t equal intelligence, you don’t have to worry about D.J., and you certainly don’t have to worry about “Animal”.