My grandmother just called me three times in the last hour. On the final call she left me a message urging me to call her back right away... I thought for sure someone had died or was about to die. As soon as I heard the message I got up in the middle of a meeting and left to call her back.
What was so urgent? What was the crisis that need immediate attention?
She wanted to know what kind of pie she should bake when I come visit for Christmas!
I wanted to respond by screaming, "are you fucking kidding me," into the phone but instead I kindly responded that apple pie would be just fine.
The final straw came a few seconds later when she told me that she had just gotten off the phone with my sister who already told her that apple pie was my favorite!
On Monday night I had to carry seven boxes of tacky, cheap, annoying Christmas ornaments out of storage so my wife could decorate for the holidays... seven boxes!
Christmas is here Shower Farters, and there is nothing we can do to make it go away. Its going to be cold, its going to be bitter, and it will last for the rest of the year.
Who needs a drink?
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Farting in the Shower is a ramblingand ecclectic mix of short stories, embarrasing confessions, pictures, and fast food reviews.
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6 comments:
Amen!!! But I already have a flask! HAHA! So...this year I am asking for something to fill the flask with! ;)
oh wow. you're such a grinch.
i don't feel like it's christmastime 'cause i don't really decorate my apartment and don't shop until quite close to christmas. now, when i go home it's a whole other story 'cause my parents go all out.
at least christmas food is GOOD!
I'm going to go ahead and admit that I am fully in the Christmas spirit. Tree is up and decorated, half the presents are wrapped (with matching bows), cards are ready to be mailed. I LOVE it. I know it's annoying, I know it's over the top. I can't justify it all except to say that it makes me happy, dammit.
But then again, I only had to pull two boxes out of storage :)
i don't need just A drink, i need TONS of drinks!!!!
my favorite part about the holidays is all the freakin happy hours and holiday parties. bring on the tinsel and tequila!
well today is christmas. so, you've probably eaten the apple pie and now you just have to help put away the xmas decorations. good luck.
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