Whenever I find myself at Burger King, my "go-to" sandwich is the Chicken Club. I'm not really a fan of the BK fries so I usually go with the onion rings instead. That's what I was planning on doing last Thursday when I noticed a new option on the sideorder menu: "Cheesy-Tots".
I love Tater-Tots. I love Cheese. It was a match made in heaven. I ordered my meal, it was ready in minutes, and it was exactly as I had hoped... Cheesy-Tots were invented for me.
When I got into bed that night, I was still savoring each tasty morsel of potato covered cheese.
I thought about writing about them the next day, but I had just written my LFFL for the Wendy's fish fillet that same day, so the Cheesy-Tots would have to wait...
But the wait is finally over. Cheesy-Tot Day is upon us!
Burger King's Chicken Club Sandwich, Cheesy-Tots, Large Coke
Normally this would be where I give you the official description of what I ordered straight from the restaurant's website. But the BK website is an absolute nightmare to navigate. In fact, according to their menu, my sandwich doesn't even exist and Cheesy-Tots are something you order for breakfast.
Location: I'd like to send a big F-U to the people of Burger King #13488, on Viers Mill Road in Silver Spring, MD! You took a simple, pleasurable experience that I had been looking forward to all week long and turned it into an absolute nightmare... Keep up the good work guys! If there is any justice in this world your daughters will all grow up to be Las Vegas strippers that give hand-jobs for an extra $10, and your sons will all be paste eaters with a low sperm count and double digit IQ.
When I got off the Metro in Glenmont yesterday, I didn't feel like driving all the way to the BK next to UMD, where I had my initial experience. A quick search on my iPhone showed there was a BK just a short drive from where I had parked. I made the trip enthusiastically. Thoughts of Cheesy-Tots were dancing in my head and I was completely unaware of horror that awaited me.
As soon as I pulled up to the drive-thru menu I got a bad feeling. The volume on the speaker was barely audible, and before I could even think about making my order, I was hit with a sales pitch for their spicy chicken combo meal. I hate when drive-thru people do this. What was wrong with the normal "Welcome to Burger King" greeting? I don't need you to suggest anything to me.
After I politely declined the Spicy Chicken sandwich combo I attempted to order my meal, substituting cheesy-tots for the fries. But I was told that they couldn't do that; you could only get cheesy-tots as a separate order.
I tried explaining that the BK on University Boulevard has no problem making that swap, and that in fact, there was a picture on their own drive-thru menu showing that you could order fries, onions rings, or a coke... but it was to no avail. If wanted the tots, I would have to take their shitty fries and still pay extra for the tots... I was willing to do that. In the end I ended up paying nearly $10 for a meal that should have cost $7.
I can't give an exact total, because the moron at the second window told me he needed the receipt back so he could figure out how to fill my order! I guess they don't keep records very well at the Viers Mill Road Burger King... and amazingly enough, even though the guy had my receipt in his hands as he filled my order, he still managed to forget my cheesy-tots!
Luckily, the service was so bad from the start that I was expecting just such an error. I made sure I did a thorough bag inspection before pulling away. Not surprisingly, the kid had the nerve to actually roll his eyes in annoyance when I pointed out his error. But I wasn't about to leave with out those tots, dirty looks be damned.
As you can probably guess, if I ever go back to Burger King #13488 it will probably be to slash tires and smear feces all over their bathroom walls.
Service: (see above)
Meal Review: For as bad as the service was, the food was actually pretty damn good. The Chicken Club Sandwich comes on a sesame seed sub roll, with a decent sized chicken fillet, fresh tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, and a couple strips of bacon. They don't go overboard with the mayo or lettuce, and the bacon is about as fresh as you can expect to find from a fast food place. It's a sandwich that I find both filling and tasty. They almost always get it right. It's a safe pick.
The tots were, of course, fabulous... potatoes and cheese were simply meant to go together. Luckily, the only necessary step to prepare them is dropping them into a deep fryer for a couple of minutes, otherwise the knuckle dragging, mouth breathers over at BK#13488 would have surely figured out a way to screw it up.
Cost: Like I said, I think I paid close to $10 but I'll never know because they took my receipt back in order to incorrectly fill my order... seriously folks, if you can't handle a Burger King drive-thru, you ought to just quit on life right now. Things are going to get way more complicated than, "Chicken Club Sandwich, Fries, Cheesy-Tots, and a Coke."
Obesity Breakdown: 1350 Calories, 63 grams of fat... but that's not accurate since the Chicken Club doesn't exist according to the BK online menu.
Summary: If you're a fan of cheese, and you're a fan of tater tots, this will be quite an experience for you... so long as you don't try to order it from Burger King #13488 on Viers Mill Rd. I highly reccomend both the tots and the sandwich. 9/10.
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7 comments:
This post made me laugh out loud!
This post made me laugh out loud!
that post made teresa laugh out loud 2X!
it really did!
I almost wish you wouldn't post the nutrition facts because I'm afraid you're going to kill yourself in the name of good blogging.
thats what i love about teresa, even if nobody else laughs at the dumb jokes i write i can always count on her to laugh at least twice!
and as for killing myself for the fast food reviews, we all know id be eating that crap even if i wasnt writing about it... and ive actually been eating less fast food since i started doing the reviews, although i dont think that is anything more than a coincidence.
i have to agree, i don't much care for bk fries but i will take a whopper over a big mac any day.
during my high school job at mcdonalds i hated to clean the mens washroom b/c there was someone who kept going in there to jerk off and shoot their deposit right into the mirror. ick.
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