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Friday, September 08, 2006

Breaking News

Yesterday Morning at work we were all watching the morning news… It’s a daily ritual, along with “The Price Is Right” at lunch.

I’m not really sure why we do it… the morning news that is. It’s basically just traffic and weather, mixed with the info from the previous night’s shooting. I’m 90% positive that they could play a tape of the morning news from 3 years ago and we wouldn’t know the difference.

Anyway, during the middle of the traffic update, one of the news anchors interrupted the report and with a grim look on his face spouted something about “Breaking News from the West Coast!”

[insert long pause while producer talks into anchor’s ear piece]

We all stopped and turned to the TV intently… what was it? Terrorism Attack, Earthquake, Tsunami? It must be something big…

“We’ve just gotten word that Paris Hilton…” [another long pause]

She’s got to be dead, right? Car accident, OD, that’s the only way she could be breaking news during a traffic report at rush hour in the Nation’s Capitol. Right?

“…has been arrested on suspicion of Driving Under the Influence!”

An audible groan was let out by everyone in the room. That’s the breaking news!?

The traffic lady shot a dirty look at the news anchor that had interrupted her, then went back to her report without missing a beat.

Does the local news suck this bad everywhere or just here in my city?

6 comments:

JHD said...

Breaking news would have been that they had discovered Paris Hilton's brain.

Seriously, Paris' DUI was the teaser commercial for the 11pm news last night. Did nothing else happen at all in the world yesterday?

This is why I don't watch the news anymore. There's no point. I get what I need to start my day from the Weather Channel and the crawl on ESPN.

Mick & Cathy said...

No its just about the same everywhere.

sonrisa morena said...

what? que? como? paris hilton? DUI? really? hehehehehee

jennifer said...

my local newspaper also featured a story about how paris was going for an in-n-out burger even though a couple of years ago she was doing ads for carl's jr.

i mean, what could be more newsworthy than paris' choice of hamburger?

Becca said...

Okay...I really think that is ridiculous! This has been a problem that has been worsening progressively...horrible horrible...celebrities in the news! I believe the first stupid newsbreaking moment i remember was Brad and Jennifer breaking up....but I have to say...that was big news! But seriously...what is the world coming to!

dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) said...

damn, she's not dead yet?!

ha! can't believe that was breaking news.