And the Nominees Are...

Welcome… I’m sure you’re all very eager to see the list of nominees for Joel’s 2006 Sleazy Confession Awards, but before I reveal those very distinguished names I’d like to say a few words.

First of all, I want to say “THANK YOU” to everyone who submitted a confession. When I came up with this idea, its potential success was very much in doubt. In fact, Moe Greene was totally against the idea from the beginning.

He thought the readers of this blog were far too educated, too cultured, and too classy to be able to come up with any interesting confessions. He predicted lots of comments about my confession, but very few decent reader confessions… My friends, you have proved him wrong!

Not only have you proved him wrong, but you have exceeded even my own expectations… Indeed, you have shown yourself to be a fine group of filthy degenerates! You are dirty, dirty people… And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

As a group, you have not let higher education, religious or cultural beliefs, friendship or even marriage (!?!) stop you from acting out on your lustful urges, and for THAT…. I applaud you.

I just hope everyone else has had as marvelous a time as I have passing judgment on my fellow bloggers…

And now, it’s time to reveal the nominations:

The Blurry Face Award- This award goes to the best confession submitted anonymously… I can understand why someone would be reluctant to attach a name to a confession, but aren’t we already relatively anonymous in the blog world?

Regardless, I do appreciate those submissions and felt compelled to give them an award… and the nominees are:

1) Anonymous 1: Met up with a fellow blogger for the express purpose of a hotel one night stand.
2) Anonymous 3: Had an inappropriate relationship with a married man who happened to be a moderately successful musician

The Back Stabber Award- This award goes to the best confession about betraying a friend… coincidently, this would be the category my confession would fall under if it were eligible for the award… and the nominees are:

1) Cindylu- Started dating her very close friend and former roommate’s ex-boyfriend (roommate and boyfriend had dated FIVE years)
2) Hector- Fucked his best friend’s wife simply because he wanted to prove he could!
3) Vanessa- While house sitting for her best friend she decided to do the nasty in her friend’s bed… you know, they exact sort of thing a house sitter is supposed to prevent from happening…
4) Hispanic Pundit- Gained carnal knowledge of a close friend’s sister… in public places… repeatedly.

The Used Condom Award- This goes to the best dirty sex story:

1) Vanessa- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Hispanic Pundit- (See Previous Explanation)
3) White Rose Boy- I am a sucker for a good MILF story. White Rose Boy once nailed the mother of a player on a sports team he coached.
4) Anonymous 1- (See Previous Explanation)

Best Confession by Someone with a Post Graduate Degree- Needs no explanation:

1) Cindylu- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Vanessa- (See Previous Explanation)
3) Marie- Bumped into someone over and over and kept apologizing before realizing that the “person” she kept bumping into was in fact her own reflection.
4) Dr. Vodka- Lived with pot smoking Frenchmen in California while her family thought she was just staying with some girlfriends.

Most Embarrassing Confession:

1) Marie- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Moe Greene- Shit himself in a car full of in-laws

Best Confession by a Male Reader:

1) Hector- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Santiago- Ran away from home during high school so he could hook up with a girl in Minnesota… he had a girlfriend at the time.
3) Hispanic Pundit- (See Previous Explanation)
4) White Rose Boy- (See Previous Explanation)

Best Confession by a Female Reader:

1) ~a.d~ - Frequently cheats on her husband with another man who is also married
2) Sonrisa- Has been married to a gay man for the past five years and never bothered to mention it on her blog... She also admitted to being an accomplished switch hitter, and I'm not talking about baseball.
3) Cindylu- (See Previous Explanation)
4) Cracked Chancla- Got so drunk she had to be carried out of a bar where two guys then attempted to kidnap her… this led to punches thrown, a car chase, and several hit and run accidents. She still has a scar on her nose as the result of one of the accidents.

Best Overall Confession:

1) ~a.d~ - (See Previous Explanation)
2) Sonrisa - (See Previous Explanation)
3) Hector - (See Previous Explanation)
4) Hispanic Pundit - (See Previous Explanation)

So there it is… the nominations for Joel’s 2006 Sleazy Confession Awards… let the controversy begin. The winner’s will be announced next Tuesday along with another confession from me!