[I walk into the door way of his office... He's messing with his copy machine but clearly sees me out of the corner of his eye but makes no attempt to either speak or look up at me]
ME: [nervous] Hey Bob, there is a phone call for you. A lady named Diane Thomas, on line 2...
[Bob does not move, speak or do anything to acknowledge my presence or my comment. So I continue to stand in his doorway. I feel like an idiot. I'm pretty sure he heard me, but I don't want to just walk away and assume he did because I might get yelled at for that... I wait approximately 15 seconds]
ME: [In a soft and polite voice... Still nervous] Excuse me... Bob?
Bob: [VERY angry voice] Yeah I heard you the first time!! [Gives me the evil eye for no apparent reason]
ME: Okay, sorry... I guess...
THE END
Keep in mind this man is in his late 40's, he's 5'9" maybe 160 lbs... I could EASILY beat him within an inch of his life before anybody could pull me off of him. I'm a peaceful person but I do have a temper.
I've replayed the sequence in my mind at least 20 times this afternoon. Sometimes when I replay it, I hit him with the thick candy dish that sits on the front of his desk. Sometimes I just go straight for the choke hold... It would feel so good.
This is like the 20th time he's done something like this to me. He's gone weeks without speaking to me before. When I work on Saturdays he finds an excuse to stop by and make sure I'm really here. He pretends that business not doing well, even though it is.
He calls me the "Hispanic Speaker." I take care of our "Mexican Policy Holders," most of whom aren't Mexican but Salvadoran; He wanted to have a "Taco Day."
He also has a knack for using words in the wrong context. He is very George W. Bush in that sense. The art of speaking is something he still hasn't mastered. He can't get through a day without either saying something stupid or offensive.
10 minutes ago he just called one of our ex-policy holders an idiot because the guy left our agency due to the constant Republican propoganda my boss puts up in and around the office... Bob had this to say, "Well that guy is an idiot for leaving for something like that, because this is a free country and I can express myself..."
It never occured to Bob that our ex-policy holder has a right to express his self by leaving... He went on to say that the guy must be "gay" because he's 51 years old and listed on his policy as being single.
The fact that I'm a reasonable man, and the threat of jail time is the only reason I haven't hit him with a Hulk Hogan head lock... Yet.
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9 comments:
Have you thought of starting your own business? On another note, have you been writing? I saw read your profile as writer. If so I hope you are sending your work out for publication.
wizone- that is exellent advice. I never really thought of it that way... Your son is lucky, even if you do try to the hip talk.
mariposatomica- My own business sounds nice...
I'm always working on something, and if I ever manage to write anything that's not depressingly mediocre, I might have to try sending it out.
But until then I'll just be cursing under my breath at Nazi bosses and blogging about Emus...
your boss sounds like ass!!! sorry dcn...it sucks to work with someone like that!! hope things get better for you.
have you ever thought of drop kicking him and then starting your own business?
oh, the good old days. i feel you. the blob, as i affectionately used to refer to my work nemesis is one thing i do not miss about my old job. dcn, i agree with mariposa and gustavo but if you can't do that at least consider a new place. that man sounds so bitter. but don't let him get to you, acuerdate que el que se enoja pierde.
Well DC I completely understand the frustration. I am in an office that has many @holes like that too. Here is my solution. I ignore them. Or write it on a post it and leave it where he can or can't see.
Sonrisa- Yeah I hope it gets better too or I'm gonna end up either crazy or in handcuffs, or maybe both!
Gustavo- My own bussiness would be nice. Although I don't know what I would do. Maybe rip off your sportsbar idea!
Marie- It would be much worse if it was a 19 year old kid. I don't know how you put up with it.
Cracked Chancla- I'm thinking about going on a year long jobless journey. It worked for you!
Hector- I'm looking for my wife's clear nail polish as soon as I get done typing this.
Santiago- I feel bad that you have to work in an office atmosphere that resembles mine, but at least I know I'm not alone.
Joel, what you're doing is great. Although, you and everyone would like for you to give him a Hulk Hogan headlock, you're a much better person than he is and kill him with kindness.
It's sad that he's much older and instead of being a role model for the rest of the office, he's a prick.
To him, your "Mexican" clients are just those people on the side that you have to speak spanish to...but to you they are part of your everday life, Mexican or not, your wife is a Spanish speaker and be happy that at least this man isn't your father-in-law.
damn.
Great post. =)
i'll kick his ass for you.
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