To clear up any possible confusion, please note that the post from Tuesday was only the nominations. Please hold any acceptance speeches until next Tuesday when the official winners are announced.
Sincerely,
Moe "My Poo Is" Greene
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
And the Nominees Are...
Welcome… I’m sure you’re all very eager to see the list of nominees for Joel’s 2006 Sleazy Confession Awards, but before I reveal those very distinguished names I’d like to say a few words.
First of all, I want to say “THANK YOU” to everyone who submitted a confession. When I came up with this idea, its potential success was very much in doubt. In fact, Moe Greene was totally against the idea from the beginning.
He thought the readers of this blog were far too educated, too cultured, and too classy to be able to come up with any interesting confessions. He predicted lots of comments about my confession, but very few decent reader confessions… My friends, you have proved him wrong!
Not only have you proved him wrong, but you have exceeded even my own expectations… Indeed, you have shown yourself to be a fine group of filthy degenerates! You are dirty, dirty people… And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
As a group, you have not let higher education, religious or cultural beliefs, friendship or even marriage (!?!) stop you from acting out on your lustful urges, and for THAT…. I applaud you.
I just hope everyone else has had as marvelous a time as I have passing judgment on my fellow bloggers…
And now, it’s time to reveal the nominations:
The Blurry Face Award- This award goes to the best confession submitted anonymously… I can understand why someone would be reluctant to attach a name to a confession, but aren’t we already relatively anonymous in the blog world?
Regardless, I do appreciate those submissions and felt compelled to give them an award… and the nominees are:
1) Anonymous 1: Met up with a fellow blogger for the express purpose of a hotel one night stand.
2) Anonymous 3: Had an inappropriate relationship with a married man who happened to be a moderately successful musician
The Back Stabber Award- This award goes to the best confession about betraying a friend… coincidently, this would be the category my confession would fall under if it were eligible for the award… and the nominees are:
1) Cindylu- Started dating her very close friend and former roommate’s ex-boyfriend (roommate and boyfriend had dated FIVE years)
2) Hector- Fucked his best friend’s wife simply because he wanted to prove he could!
3) Vanessa- While house sitting for her best friend she decided to do the nasty in her friend’s bed… you know, they exact sort of thing a house sitter is supposed to prevent from happening…
4) Hispanic Pundit- Gained carnal knowledge of a close friend’s sister… in public places… repeatedly.
The Used Condom Award- This goes to the best dirty sex story:
1) Vanessa- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Hispanic Pundit- (See Previous Explanation)
3) White Rose Boy- I am a sucker for a good MILF story. White Rose Boy once nailed the mother of a player on a sports team he coached.
4) Anonymous 1- (See Previous Explanation)
Best Confession by Someone with a Post Graduate Degree- Needs no explanation:
1) Cindylu- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Vanessa- (See Previous Explanation)
3) Marie- Bumped into someone over and over and kept apologizing before realizing that the “person” she kept bumping into was in fact her own reflection.
4) Dr. Vodka- Lived with pot smoking Frenchmen in California while her family thought she was just staying with some girlfriends.
Most Embarrassing Confession:
1) Marie- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Moe Greene- Shit himself in a car full of in-laws
Best Confession by a Male Reader:
1) Hector- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Santiago- Ran away from home during high school so he could hook up with a girl in Minnesota… he had a girlfriend at the time.
3) Hispanic Pundit- (See Previous Explanation)
4) White Rose Boy- (See Previous Explanation)
Best Confession by a Female Reader:
1) ~a.d~ - Frequently cheats on her husband with another man who is also married
2) Sonrisa- Has been married to a gay man for the past five years and never bothered to mention it on her blog... She also admitted to being an accomplished switch hitter, and I'm not talking about baseball.
3) Cindylu- (See Previous Explanation)
4) Cracked Chancla- Got so drunk she had to be carried out of a bar where two guys then attempted to kidnap her… this led to punches thrown, a car chase, and several hit and run accidents. She still has a scar on her nose as the result of one of the accidents.
Best Overall Confession:
1) ~a.d~ - (See Previous Explanation)
2) Sonrisa - (See Previous Explanation)
3) Hector - (See Previous Explanation)
4) Hispanic Pundit - (See Previous Explanation)
So there it is… the nominations for Joel’s 2006 Sleazy Confession Awards… let the controversy begin. The winner’s will be announced next Tuesday along with another confession from me!
First of all, I want to say “THANK YOU” to everyone who submitted a confession. When I came up with this idea, its potential success was very much in doubt. In fact, Moe Greene was totally against the idea from the beginning.
He thought the readers of this blog were far too educated, too cultured, and too classy to be able to come up with any interesting confessions. He predicted lots of comments about my confession, but very few decent reader confessions… My friends, you have proved him wrong!
Not only have you proved him wrong, but you have exceeded even my own expectations… Indeed, you have shown yourself to be a fine group of filthy degenerates! You are dirty, dirty people… And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
As a group, you have not let higher education, religious or cultural beliefs, friendship or even marriage (!?!) stop you from acting out on your lustful urges, and for THAT…. I applaud you.
I just hope everyone else has had as marvelous a time as I have passing judgment on my fellow bloggers…
And now, it’s time to reveal the nominations:
The Blurry Face Award- This award goes to the best confession submitted anonymously… I can understand why someone would be reluctant to attach a name to a confession, but aren’t we already relatively anonymous in the blog world?
Regardless, I do appreciate those submissions and felt compelled to give them an award… and the nominees are:
1) Anonymous 1: Met up with a fellow blogger for the express purpose of a hotel one night stand.
2) Anonymous 3: Had an inappropriate relationship with a married man who happened to be a moderately successful musician
The Back Stabber Award- This award goes to the best confession about betraying a friend… coincidently, this would be the category my confession would fall under if it were eligible for the award… and the nominees are:
1) Cindylu- Started dating her very close friend and former roommate’s ex-boyfriend (roommate and boyfriend had dated FIVE years)
2) Hector- Fucked his best friend’s wife simply because he wanted to prove he could!
3) Vanessa- While house sitting for her best friend she decided to do the nasty in her friend’s bed… you know, they exact sort of thing a house sitter is supposed to prevent from happening…
4) Hispanic Pundit- Gained carnal knowledge of a close friend’s sister… in public places… repeatedly.
The Used Condom Award- This goes to the best dirty sex story:
1) Vanessa- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Hispanic Pundit- (See Previous Explanation)
3) White Rose Boy- I am a sucker for a good MILF story. White Rose Boy once nailed the mother of a player on a sports team he coached.
4) Anonymous 1- (See Previous Explanation)
Best Confession by Someone with a Post Graduate Degree- Needs no explanation:
1) Cindylu- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Vanessa- (See Previous Explanation)
3) Marie- Bumped into someone over and over and kept apologizing before realizing that the “person” she kept bumping into was in fact her own reflection.
4) Dr. Vodka- Lived with pot smoking Frenchmen in California while her family thought she was just staying with some girlfriends.
Most Embarrassing Confession:
1) Marie- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Moe Greene- Shit himself in a car full of in-laws
Best Confession by a Male Reader:
1) Hector- (See Previous Explanation)
2) Santiago- Ran away from home during high school so he could hook up with a girl in Minnesota… he had a girlfriend at the time.
3) Hispanic Pundit- (See Previous Explanation)
4) White Rose Boy- (See Previous Explanation)
Best Confession by a Female Reader:
1) ~a.d~ - Frequently cheats on her husband with another man who is also married
2) Sonrisa- Has been married to a gay man for the past five years and never bothered to mention it on her blog... She also admitted to being an accomplished switch hitter, and I'm not talking about baseball.
3) Cindylu- (See Previous Explanation)
4) Cracked Chancla- Got so drunk she had to be carried out of a bar where two guys then attempted to kidnap her… this led to punches thrown, a car chase, and several hit and run accidents. She still has a scar on her nose as the result of one of the accidents.
Best Overall Confession:
1) ~a.d~ - (See Previous Explanation)
2) Sonrisa - (See Previous Explanation)
3) Hector - (See Previous Explanation)
4) Hispanic Pundit - (See Previous Explanation)
So there it is… the nominations for Joel’s 2006 Sleazy Confession Awards… let the controversy begin. The winner’s will be announced next Tuesday along with another confession from me!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I Confess
I just don’t have another Film Vault Tuesday in me right now… It might be back next week but I make no promises… I know, I know… it’s lame. I’ve been ripping everybody off the past couple of weeks.
So… In keeping with tradition of this blog, when ever I go away or take a break, or simply suck for weeks at a time- I make up for it by telling an embarrassing and personal story… so that’s what I’m going to do right now... I’m going to confess to something terrible I did a few years ago.
However, there is a catch… I would like everyone else to make a confession as well… A confession to a wrong you have committed, or maybe an embarrassing secret you’ve been holding back. It doesn’t have to be anything too dramatic… Like, if you killed a drifter in Kansas during the Fall of 1994- you should probably keep that to yourself (Moe).
It doesn’t have to be a secret you’ve never told anyone, just something you’ve never told the blogging community… But obviously a lame confession would be a waste of everyone’s time.
I’ve never asked anyone to participate in anything on my blog before, but I think this could be pretty spectacular if everyone did… Confessions should be made in the comments section of this post, but feel free to post it on your own blogs as well should you feel the need.
Depending on participation I’ll announce the winner of the “Confession Contest” either next Tuesday or the Tuesday after that.
So now, here is my confession:
About 3 years ago I slept with my roommate’s girl friend… a lot.
The relationship went on for about 2 months… And it all took place in the apartment we shared.
He was one of my closest friends, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t even regret it.
That's not to say that I don't feel guilty about it, because honestly I really do. Not only did I lose a close friendship but I think I was responsible for sending him into a fairly substantial depression... But, on the other hand, this girl was model material. This was a once in a lifetime shot for a guy like me. So do I feel guilty about it? Yeah. But do I regret it? No, I can't really say that because if someone gave me the option of going back and doing it all over again it would only take me roughly 2.3 seconds to overcome my guilt and say: "Where do I sign up?"
Now, as bad as that all sounds, let me give a little more background.
As I said, the girl was beyond hot and I was infatuated with her from the first time I met her. At the time when things started to develop I was on a break with my crazy girl friend. I was spending a lot of time as a “Third Wheel” hanging out with my roommate and this girl.
My friend dated her for about a year, and of course he didn’t really appreciate her. He ignored her, complained about her, he never took her out- that sort of thing.
They had met at school, where they we on the track team together. He was the star upper classman athlete and she was the wide eyed Freshman.
After about 6 months it was clear to everyone that the whole relationship was a mistake (for her at least) but since this was her first really serious relationship she hadn't come to that conclusion yet.
I helped her come to that conclusion.
As I became friends with her I began to subtly point out all of my roommate’s flaws and shortcomings… and they were legit flaws. He really didn’t appreciate or treat her well. He looked at having a beautiful girlfriend as one of the perks of being him... Because he had been a star athlete all of his life, he was (and probably still is) incapable of paying attention to anything beyond his next race or next game.
Now, when you're pointing out a guy's flaws (in order to bang his girlfriend) it can be a touchy subject. There is a fine line you must walk. Being subtle is a key… You can’t just constantly talk crap about the guy or it will either be too obvious or you'll come off as a jerk… You have to carefully lead your prey (the girlfriend) into seeing her boyfriend’s flaws, but (and this is tehe key) you have to make her think that she came to the realization on her own.
And of course, it helps if the flaws you lead her to noticing should also be things that you happen to do well… For instance, I’m a great listener... My friend was not… My friend was boring… I tried to seem exciting… I enjoy picking up the tab and leaving big tips… My friend was cheap and often refused to leave tips… You get the idea.
I also used a few other tricks… I played up my recent break-up for all it was worth. I never spoke poorly of my ex (cause I was such a gentleman and all). I painted myself as confident and together on the surface with just a hint of a deeper sadness below the surface. I didn't want her to know I had a bunch of emotional baggage, I was just a good guy, down on his luck, and in need of comfort.... and god bless her, this girl had a lot of comfort to give.
Also, I was working on a novel at the time. I have since come to the conclusion that it wasn't really that good (actually, to be honest, it was a god awful, embarrassing pile of crap) but at the time I was really serious about it… and I let her read it.
Despite the project's serious shortcomings- it did work on her. She was a 19 year old girl with a dumb jock for a boyfriend and there I was “working on a novel.” I think I may have even told her some BS about her being the inspiration for one of the characters… She never had a chance.
I know all of this sounds terrible… and it is… but I should make it clear that I wasn’t doing all this with the intention of just sleeping with her… I really was head over heels for this girl. I can see now that a lot of it was probably lust, but at the time I thought I was "in love". So once the wheels on this train started moving , I was powerless to put a stop to it all.
As Moe Greene can attest to, I was totally convinced that not only was what I doing not wrong, but I actually thought I would somehow live happily ever after with this girl!
Then one day a good friend of mine made an observation: “If she would cheat on him, what makes you think she wouldn’t cheat on you?”
Somehow, as improbable as it may sound, that thought hadn’t occurred to me before that moment. And of course he was right… after two months of secret rendezvous and corny love letters the girl finally came to her senses… She dumped both myself and my roommate on the same day.
Two weeks later she was dating a minor league baseball player.
My roommate never figured out exactly what had happened. He had his suspicions and eventually moved out. We’ve only talked once since then. We had been friends since 5th grade.
And of course I spun into a terrible depression. I went on a 2 week drug and alcohol bender that would have made Chris Farley proud… It ended when a druggie co-worker sat me down one day and said “Dude, you’re way out of control. You need to slow down.”
You know it’s time to re-evaluate things when a guy you’ve seen snort coke off a stripper’s tits tells you: “You need to slow down.”
I ended up getting back with the ex-girlfriend I had broken up with before all this started… which was another bad idea, but hey, bad ideas are what I do best. And, like I said, despite the crash landing I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
I came out fine in the end. AND I got to shag a girl who was WAY out of my league for two glorious months… It's also worth mentioning that not only was she beautiful, but she was ah.... talented... a very talented young lady...
It was well worth it.
So there it is- my very honest confession… Your turn.
So… In keeping with tradition of this blog, when ever I go away or take a break, or simply suck for weeks at a time- I make up for it by telling an embarrassing and personal story… so that’s what I’m going to do right now... I’m going to confess to something terrible I did a few years ago.
However, there is a catch… I would like everyone else to make a confession as well… A confession to a wrong you have committed, or maybe an embarrassing secret you’ve been holding back. It doesn’t have to be anything too dramatic… Like, if you killed a drifter in Kansas during the Fall of 1994- you should probably keep that to yourself (Moe).
It doesn’t have to be a secret you’ve never told anyone, just something you’ve never told the blogging community… But obviously a lame confession would be a waste of everyone’s time.
I’ve never asked anyone to participate in anything on my blog before, but I think this could be pretty spectacular if everyone did… Confessions should be made in the comments section of this post, but feel free to post it on your own blogs as well should you feel the need.
Depending on participation I’ll announce the winner of the “Confession Contest” either next Tuesday or the Tuesday after that.
So now, here is my confession:
About 3 years ago I slept with my roommate’s girl friend… a lot.
The relationship went on for about 2 months… And it all took place in the apartment we shared.
He was one of my closest friends, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t even regret it.
That's not to say that I don't feel guilty about it, because honestly I really do. Not only did I lose a close friendship but I think I was responsible for sending him into a fairly substantial depression... But, on the other hand, this girl was model material. This was a once in a lifetime shot for a guy like me. So do I feel guilty about it? Yeah. But do I regret it? No, I can't really say that because if someone gave me the option of going back and doing it all over again it would only take me roughly 2.3 seconds to overcome my guilt and say: "Where do I sign up?"
Now, as bad as that all sounds, let me give a little more background.
As I said, the girl was beyond hot and I was infatuated with her from the first time I met her. At the time when things started to develop I was on a break with my crazy girl friend. I was spending a lot of time as a “Third Wheel” hanging out with my roommate and this girl.
My friend dated her for about a year, and of course he didn’t really appreciate her. He ignored her, complained about her, he never took her out- that sort of thing.
They had met at school, where they we on the track team together. He was the star upper classman athlete and she was the wide eyed Freshman.
After about 6 months it was clear to everyone that the whole relationship was a mistake (for her at least) but since this was her first really serious relationship she hadn't come to that conclusion yet.
I helped her come to that conclusion.
As I became friends with her I began to subtly point out all of my roommate’s flaws and shortcomings… and they were legit flaws. He really didn’t appreciate or treat her well. He looked at having a beautiful girlfriend as one of the perks of being him... Because he had been a star athlete all of his life, he was (and probably still is) incapable of paying attention to anything beyond his next race or next game.
Now, when you're pointing out a guy's flaws (in order to bang his girlfriend) it can be a touchy subject. There is a fine line you must walk. Being subtle is a key… You can’t just constantly talk crap about the guy or it will either be too obvious or you'll come off as a jerk… You have to carefully lead your prey (the girlfriend) into seeing her boyfriend’s flaws, but (and this is tehe key) you have to make her think that she came to the realization on her own.
And of course, it helps if the flaws you lead her to noticing should also be things that you happen to do well… For instance, I’m a great listener... My friend was not… My friend was boring… I tried to seem exciting… I enjoy picking up the tab and leaving big tips… My friend was cheap and often refused to leave tips… You get the idea.
I also used a few other tricks… I played up my recent break-up for all it was worth. I never spoke poorly of my ex (cause I was such a gentleman and all). I painted myself as confident and together on the surface with just a hint of a deeper sadness below the surface. I didn't want her to know I had a bunch of emotional baggage, I was just a good guy, down on his luck, and in need of comfort.... and god bless her, this girl had a lot of comfort to give.
Also, I was working on a novel at the time. I have since come to the conclusion that it wasn't really that good (actually, to be honest, it was a god awful, embarrassing pile of crap) but at the time I was really serious about it… and I let her read it.
Despite the project's serious shortcomings- it did work on her. She was a 19 year old girl with a dumb jock for a boyfriend and there I was “working on a novel.” I think I may have even told her some BS about her being the inspiration for one of the characters… She never had a chance.
I know all of this sounds terrible… and it is… but I should make it clear that I wasn’t doing all this with the intention of just sleeping with her… I really was head over heels for this girl. I can see now that a lot of it was probably lust, but at the time I thought I was "in love". So once the wheels on this train started moving , I was powerless to put a stop to it all.
As Moe Greene can attest to, I was totally convinced that not only was what I doing not wrong, but I actually thought I would somehow live happily ever after with this girl!
Then one day a good friend of mine made an observation: “If she would cheat on him, what makes you think she wouldn’t cheat on you?”
Somehow, as improbable as it may sound, that thought hadn’t occurred to me before that moment. And of course he was right… after two months of secret rendezvous and corny love letters the girl finally came to her senses… She dumped both myself and my roommate on the same day.
Two weeks later she was dating a minor league baseball player.
My roommate never figured out exactly what had happened. He had his suspicions and eventually moved out. We’ve only talked once since then. We had been friends since 5th grade.
And of course I spun into a terrible depression. I went on a 2 week drug and alcohol bender that would have made Chris Farley proud… It ended when a druggie co-worker sat me down one day and said “Dude, you’re way out of control. You need to slow down.”
You know it’s time to re-evaluate things when a guy you’ve seen snort coke off a stripper’s tits tells you: “You need to slow down.”
I ended up getting back with the ex-girlfriend I had broken up with before all this started… which was another bad idea, but hey, bad ideas are what I do best. And, like I said, despite the crash landing I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
I came out fine in the end. AND I got to shag a girl who was WAY out of my league for two glorious months… It's also worth mentioning that not only was she beautiful, but she was ah.... talented... a very talented young lady...
It was well worth it.
So there it is- my very honest confession… Your turn.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Sorry
Sorry about the lack of a Film Vault Tuesday... in addition to being very busy this week- I'm running out of movies to review.
Anyway, The town in El Salvador where my wife is from was the subject of an article in The Washington Post. It gives a pretty good perspective on how immigration effects, not just the United States, but the countries where the people came from.
Anyway, The town in El Salvador where my wife is from was the subject of an article in The Washington Post. It gives a pretty good perspective on how immigration effects, not just the United States, but the countries where the people came from.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
FILM VAULT TUESDAY
While I was on my blog break several interesting things happened that made me say “hey I want to write about that when I get back”… but alas, I can’t remember any of those things right now.
One thing that does stand out was a betrayal by Moe Greene of Judas proportions… You see, about 2-3 weeks before I took my break I went out and dropped a serious amount of $ on a 30GB Mp3 player.
Of course, Moe went with me to make the purchase… I had been researching players for weeks and the one I liked the most is the Phillips Go Gear… It’s gotten mixed reviews on sites like Amazon which freaked me out, but after doing some digging I was able to determine that it’s actually a good player… the one draw back being that it doesn’t do videos… Which was fine with me (or so I thought) because I just can’t see myself watching video’s on one of those tiny screens.
Anyway, we headed over to Best Buy to make the purchase… I looked at the Phillips and a Creative 30GB player that was like $30 more because it had video capabilities- which I determined I did not need. Both Moe and I agreed on the Phillips, so that's what I bought.
I was very pleased with my decision until about 2 weeks ago when I got a call from Moe saying he just bought the Creative player... you know, the one that I passed up… So now he has a player that’s just as good as mine- but a little better.
He actually hasn’t downloaded any videos yet- and isn’t in a rush to do so… but just the knowledge that he can do it, and I can't is bugging the hell out of me- which is probably the only reason he bought the damn thing in the first place!?
Just thinking about it makes me want to throw a fit worthy of one of those rich girls on MTV’s Sweet 16 show (by the way, I challenge you to watch 10 minutes of one of that show and NOT get totally sucked in… even though I've never seen a likable person on the show I can't stop watching.)
I know that my envy of Moe's Mp3 player is sad, childish, materialistic, and borderline pathetic- I don't care... I want- I want- I want- I want… and I might just hold my breath until I get it!
But enough of my rant- it’s time for Film Vault Tuesday!
Title: Magnolia (1999)
Cast: Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, John C Reilly, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Jason Robards
Why: This is movie #2 of Paul Thomas Anderson’s main 3 movies… The first being Boogie Nights which I have already used, the other being Punch Drunk Love which I’ll probably use sometime soon.
Magnolia features almost the exact same cast as Boogie Night’s with a few notable exceptions (Marky Mark is gone but Tom Cruise is in) so you know the acting is top notch… The movie tends to jump around from story line to story line a bit more than Boogie Nights, and where Boogie Nights was mainly centered around Dirk Diggler, Magnolia doesn’t really have that one main character…
...but what it does offer along the lines of Boogie Nights is the in depth character development that is unique to a Paul Thomas Anderson film… He loves to take a bizarre and eclectic characters who seem totally unlikable on the surface and make you care about them in very personal way.
Remote Scene Stopper: This category is a no brainer… my friends all call this particular scene the “What the Fuck!?” scene… Anytime you introduce this movie to someone who’s never seen and you get to that scene- their immediate reaction (without exception) is: “What the fuck!?”
If you’ve seen the movie, you know what part I’m talking about… if not, watch the movie and you'll understand.
Tear/Goosebumps: I get Goosebumps as soon as I hear the Narrators voice for the intro to the movie… I get teary at several parts of the movie- most notably the final Tom Cruise with Big Earl scene… and while we’re on the Tom Cruise subject- I want to share an observation that I noticed a few months back… When Tom Cruise began revealing his true side (crazy, couch jumping, placenta eating, cult member, Katie Holmes kidnapper) it occurred to me that he had become his character in Magnolia… which leads to this question: Has Tom Cruise become his character from Magnolia or was his character from Magnolia just him being him? The world may never know.
Overall: It’s hilarious, offensive, obscene, touching, and bizarre all at once. It’s a freak show- it is a work of art… it’s also really fucking long, (a little over 3 hours) so you have to be in the right mood and be willing to commit an entire evening to watch it.
To me, it’s not quite on the Boogie Nights level… it’s a bit too ambitious and too long, it feels a bit more forced when compared to Boogie Nights- but it’s still a solid 8/10.
One thing that does stand out was a betrayal by Moe Greene of Judas proportions… You see, about 2-3 weeks before I took my break I went out and dropped a serious amount of $ on a 30GB Mp3 player.
Of course, Moe went with me to make the purchase… I had been researching players for weeks and the one I liked the most is the Phillips Go Gear… It’s gotten mixed reviews on sites like Amazon which freaked me out, but after doing some digging I was able to determine that it’s actually a good player… the one draw back being that it doesn’t do videos… Which was fine with me (or so I thought) because I just can’t see myself watching video’s on one of those tiny screens.
Anyway, we headed over to Best Buy to make the purchase… I looked at the Phillips and a Creative 30GB player that was like $30 more because it had video capabilities- which I determined I did not need. Both Moe and I agreed on the Phillips, so that's what I bought.
I was very pleased with my decision until about 2 weeks ago when I got a call from Moe saying he just bought the Creative player... you know, the one that I passed up… So now he has a player that’s just as good as mine- but a little better.
He actually hasn’t downloaded any videos yet- and isn’t in a rush to do so… but just the knowledge that he can do it, and I can't is bugging the hell out of me- which is probably the only reason he bought the damn thing in the first place!?
Just thinking about it makes me want to throw a fit worthy of one of those rich girls on MTV’s Sweet 16 show (by the way, I challenge you to watch 10 minutes of one of that show and NOT get totally sucked in… even though I've never seen a likable person on the show I can't stop watching.)
I know that my envy of Moe's Mp3 player is sad, childish, materialistic, and borderline pathetic- I don't care... I want- I want- I want- I want… and I might just hold my breath until I get it!
But enough of my rant- it’s time for Film Vault Tuesday!
Title: Magnolia (1999)Cast: Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, John C Reilly, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Jason Robards
Why: This is movie #2 of Paul Thomas Anderson’s main 3 movies… The first being Boogie Nights which I have already used, the other being Punch Drunk Love which I’ll probably use sometime soon.
Magnolia features almost the exact same cast as Boogie Night’s with a few notable exceptions (Marky Mark is gone but Tom Cruise is in) so you know the acting is top notch… The movie tends to jump around from story line to story line a bit more than Boogie Nights, and where Boogie Nights was mainly centered around Dirk Diggler, Magnolia doesn’t really have that one main character…
...but what it does offer along the lines of Boogie Nights is the in depth character development that is unique to a Paul Thomas Anderson film… He loves to take a bizarre and eclectic characters who seem totally unlikable on the surface and make you care about them in very personal way.
Remote Scene Stopper: This category is a no brainer… my friends all call this particular scene the “What the Fuck!?” scene… Anytime you introduce this movie to someone who’s never seen and you get to that scene- their immediate reaction (without exception) is: “What the fuck!?”
If you’ve seen the movie, you know what part I’m talking about… if not, watch the movie and you'll understand.
Tear/Goosebumps: I get Goosebumps as soon as I hear the Narrators voice for the intro to the movie… I get teary at several parts of the movie- most notably the final Tom Cruise with Big Earl scene… and while we’re on the Tom Cruise subject- I want to share an observation that I noticed a few months back… When Tom Cruise began revealing his true side (crazy, couch jumping, placenta eating, cult member, Katie Holmes kidnapper) it occurred to me that he had become his character in Magnolia… which leads to this question: Has Tom Cruise become his character from Magnolia or was his character from Magnolia just him being him? The world may never know.
Overall: It’s hilarious, offensive, obscene, touching, and bizarre all at once. It’s a freak show- it is a work of art… it’s also really fucking long, (a little over 3 hours) so you have to be in the right mood and be willing to commit an entire evening to watch it.
To me, it’s not quite on the Boogie Nights level… it’s a bit too ambitious and too long, it feels a bit more forced when compared to Boogie Nights- but it’s still a solid 8/10.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Pathetic
Today I woke up around 9 am... I sat on my couch watching ESPN for an hour, hoping that my wife would make me some breakfast. When it became apparent that she wasn’t going to do that I went downstairs and microwaved 3 hot dogs- that was my breakfast.
I've spent the rest of the afternoon back on the couch... I'm wearing sweat pants and an old T-Shirt which, thanks to my nutritious breakfast, now sports a nice ketchup stain... The dirty dishes are still piled up on the coffee table... I've been watching a Women's Pool Tournament for a good 40 minutes now... I hate watching Pool on TV, but the remote control is on the other side of the room and I don't feel like getting up... If someone walks into the room I'll try to talk them into retrieving the remote for me so I can change the channel... If it wasn't for the fact that my lap top is right here in front of me, none of you would ever know about how pathetically lazy my Sunday afternoon has been...
I've spent the rest of the afternoon back on the couch... I'm wearing sweat pants and an old T-Shirt which, thanks to my nutritious breakfast, now sports a nice ketchup stain... The dirty dishes are still piled up on the coffee table... I've been watching a Women's Pool Tournament for a good 40 minutes now... I hate watching Pool on TV, but the remote control is on the other side of the room and I don't feel like getting up... If someone walks into the room I'll try to talk them into retrieving the remote for me so I can change the channel... If it wasn't for the fact that my lap top is right here in front of me, none of you would ever know about how pathetically lazy my Sunday afternoon has been...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
IN HIS OWN WORDS
I wanted to expand on a little on my Film Vault Tuesday on The Motorcycle Diaries... About Che... It's hard to put into words why he means so much to so many people who weren't even alive to witness his life.
I could ramble on for paragraphs about what he accomplished in his life and about his legacy but I'd rather let his own words paint a picture of the kind of person he was.
These are a few favorite excerpts from his travel diary... it's not quite as poetic in English, but I don't trust my Spanish enough to provide a completely accurate translation.
I knew his diary would stay with me forever from the first few sentences:
This isn't a tale of derring-do, nor is it merely some kind of 'cynical account'; it isn't meant to be, at least. It's a chunk of two lives running parallel for a while, with common aspirations and similar dreams.
Embarking on his journey with Granado through South America meant leaving behind his girlfriend Chichina... she said she would wait for him, but he was crushed when he received a letter halfway through his trip informing him that she had met someone new. Here he is contemplating the rewards of his trip versus the sacrifice he had made in losing Chichina:
That night the mosquitoes kept me awake, I thought of Chichina, now a distant dream, a very enjoyable dream which ended, unusually for this kind of notion, with more honey in my memory than gall. I sent her a gentle, serene kiss, that of an old friend who knows and understands her; then my mind wandered on to Malagueno, in whose hall late at night she was probably whispering those strange intricate phrases of hers to some new suitor at that very moment. The immense dome of the starry sky above me twinkled merrily, as if saying 'yes' to the question which rose from deep inside me: 'Is this worth it?'
This is the 'good-bye' toast he gave to the staff at the San Pablo Leper Colony at his birthday party:
Well, it is my duty to reply to the toast proposed by Dr. Bresciani with something more than the conventional gesture. In our present precarious state, all we have to offer are words and I would now like to use them to express my heartfelt thanks, and those of my friend, to the entire staff of the colony who, though they hardly know us, have demonstrated their affection so magnificently by celebrating my birthday as if it were one if your own.
And I want to add something else. In a few days we'll be leaving Peru, so these words are also a farewell, and I'd like to stress my gratitude to all the people of this country, who over and over again since we arrived in Peru at Tacana have shown us the warmth of their hospitality. And I'd like to add another thought, nothing to do with this toast... Although were too insignificant to be spokesmen for such a noble cause, we believe, and this journey has only served to confirm this belief, that the division of America into unstable and illusory nations is a complete fiction, e are one single mestizo race with remarkable ethnographical similarities, from Mexico down to the Magellan Straits. And so, in an attempt to break free from al narrow-minded provincialism I propose a toast to Peru and to a United America.
At the conclusion of his journey Ernesto had seen too much poverty and injustice to go back to being the care-free spirit that had left Argentina... He would go back to finish Medical School, but a part of him clearly new that his final calling would not be Medicine, it would be REVOLUTION... Here is his very prophetic look at the future he saw for himself:
... I knew that when the great guiding spirit cleaves humanity into two antagonistic halves, I will be with the people. And I know it because I see it imprinted on the night that I, the eclectic dissector of doctrines and psychoanalyst of dogmas, howling like a man possessed, will assail the barricades and trenches, will stain my weapon with blood and, consumed with rage, will slaughter any enemy I lay hands on. And then, as if an immense weariness were consuming my recent exhilaration, I see myself being sacrificed to the authentic revolution, the great leveler of individual will, pronouncing the exemplary mea culpa. I feel my nostrils dilate, savoring the acrid smell of gunpowder and blood, of the enemy' death; I brace my body, ready for combat, and prepare myself to be a sacred precinct within which the bestial howl of the victorious proletariat can resound with new vigor and new hope.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
FILM VAULT TUESDAY
I had a Film Vault Tuesday all written up and ready to go… it was a very good movie, picked at random, with no connection to the events of yesterday.
As I said in my last “political” blog on the issue- people have already made their minds up about immigration so I really don’t want to get into that discussion… Everything that can be said has been said already, by voices far more eloquent and powerful than mine. As far as I'm concerned, for me to try and summarize the arguments or debate the issues would be a waste of my time and yours.
While I do take myself too seriously at times, I hold no illusions that my words can change opinions or provoke any meaningful discussion… I’m just a mediocre writer with a blog. I write about movies, cleavage, and my own personal shortcomings. Sometimes I’m funny, and occasionally I write something worth reading while you try to distract yourself from work- but that’s it.
If you’re looking for a place to debate the issues, those places are out there… I might even suggest one to you: The Informant is soliciting thoughts and opinions on the subject of immigration right now, and she has some interesting views of her own.
I would like to make some observations peripheral to the recent protesting without being too “preachy” about the specific issue at hand… my soap box is broken.
Something that I have found very promising about all the recent activism is the types of faces I’ve seen in the crowd...
I’m not talking about the color of the faces, no, what’s impressed me is the age of many of the faces… kids… children… high school students, middle school students. Kids who would normally be planted in front of a television, or lost in a world of video games and music videos- are instead getting a hand’s on experience at what it’s like to participate in their country’s future.
These are kids who will vote… at the 2004 elections only 55% percent of people eligible to vote actually did… you can bet that these kids won't be a part pf the voiceless 45%.
Regardless of where you stand on the issue of immigration, seeing young people take notice of a world outside of their own little social circles is cause for optimism.
When I was in High School I would say I was (sadly) much more politically aware than any of my peers... and yet I didn’t really have any thoughts or opinions of my own!
I certainly didn’t take part or participate in the political process… I just had a vague awareness of current events.
It wasn’t until I read a book called The Motorcycle Diaries that I actually began to form my own opinions on the world around me… to take notice of social injustice… to question why things happen… or what could be done…
Up until that point I could tell you things like: “People are debating this NAFTA bill,” but I couldn’t tell you why. And I didn’t care to be honest… Che’s book made me ashamed that I could tell you about who’s on the People’s Most Beautiful People list, but I couldn’t tell you anything about the hypocrisy of my own country's foreign policy.
Whatever criticisms you may have about Che (and some of the criticisms are very valid) you have to admire his passion, his honesty, and his need to be an active participant in the world around him. This is a man who died for his belief that the poor and disenfranchised people all across the world deserve equal rights... You can argue that he used the wrong method to further his cause, but you can't argue against his cause.
So in honor of all the young protestors that have recently had their eyes opened to the world around them, this week’s Film Vault Tuesday will feature the movie version of the book that opened mine:
Title: Diarios de Motocicleta – Motorcycle Diaries, (2004)
Cast: Gael Garcia Bernal, Rodrigo De la Serna
Why: When I first read that there would be a movie based on a book that meant SO much to me- I was angry… I was angry in the same way I get when I see a teenager who has no idea what Che stood for walking around the mall wearing the T-Shirt simply because he saw Jay-Z wearing one.
I was worried they would alter, change, and rewrite until the script had nothing to do with the book at all.
What worried me most was the thought the millions of kids might see go see a crappy movie that failed to capture the essence of of the man... That they might see that crappy movie and then walk away saying: “Oh Ernesto Guevara, I know who he was, I saw that movie…”
Then I found out that one of my 2 or 3 favorite actors- Gael Garcia Bernal- was going to be the star… ugh, that meant I had to watch it… and so I did… and it far surpassed my expectations.
Taking on the role of Guevara is an insanely difficult task- but Gael some how did it (he even nailed the Argentine accent!)… Making a script out of the book without pissing people off was an insanely difficult task, but Jose Rivera somehow did it…
The whole time I was watching the movie I was waiting for something to go wrong, but that moment never came... there were a couple of very slight changes made- but they were so subtle that I would feel a like an ass for even pointing them out.
Also, kudos to Rodrigo De la Serna for his portrayal of Ernesto’s travel companion Alberto Granado… I had never heard or seen Rodrigo before and he totally blew me away with his acting chops… I dare to say that he, at times out shined Gael.
Remote Stopper Scene: Clearly this would be Ernesto’s birthday party and river swim scene… The fabulous speech (which they recreated word for word I might add) and then his subsequent swim across the river... This is actually one of the subtle changes they made. I know I said I wouldn’t mention it, but... the swim actually took place during the afternoon, way before the party, and wasn’t quite as dramatic as the movie led you to believe (at least according to Che’s account, I have not read Granado’s account of the incident).
Goosebumps/Tear Factor: Several goosebump moments. One that stands out is their first peek at Machu Picchu.
As far as tears go, several moments as well… [1] The mining couple and the discovery of where Chichina’s money went [2] The leper colony goodbye, and [3] obviously Granado and Guevara’s goodbye.
Overall: 9 out of 10… Of course, no movie has ever been better than the book- not even the greatest movie of all (The Godfather) was better than the book… When a great writing is made into a movie the best you can hope for is that it captures the spirit and the meaning of the book.
The Motorcycle Diaries is a coming of age adventure about friendship and travel... but most of all it’s about social awakening… And the movie somehow manages to capture all that- which (according to me at least) is all you can hope for.
As I said in my last “political” blog on the issue- people have already made their minds up about immigration so I really don’t want to get into that discussion… Everything that can be said has been said already, by voices far more eloquent and powerful than mine. As far as I'm concerned, for me to try and summarize the arguments or debate the issues would be a waste of my time and yours.
While I do take myself too seriously at times, I hold no illusions that my words can change opinions or provoke any meaningful discussion… I’m just a mediocre writer with a blog. I write about movies, cleavage, and my own personal shortcomings. Sometimes I’m funny, and occasionally I write something worth reading while you try to distract yourself from work- but that’s it.
If you’re looking for a place to debate the issues, those places are out there… I might even suggest one to you: The Informant is soliciting thoughts and opinions on the subject of immigration right now, and she has some interesting views of her own.
I would like to make some observations peripheral to the recent protesting without being too “preachy” about the specific issue at hand… my soap box is broken.
Something that I have found very promising about all the recent activism is the types of faces I’ve seen in the crowd...
I’m not talking about the color of the faces, no, what’s impressed me is the age of many of the faces… kids… children… high school students, middle school students. Kids who would normally be planted in front of a television, or lost in a world of video games and music videos- are instead getting a hand’s on experience at what it’s like to participate in their country’s future.
These are kids who will vote… at the 2004 elections only 55% percent of people eligible to vote actually did… you can bet that these kids won't be a part pf the voiceless 45%.
Regardless of where you stand on the issue of immigration, seeing young people take notice of a world outside of their own little social circles is cause for optimism.
When I was in High School I would say I was (sadly) much more politically aware than any of my peers... and yet I didn’t really have any thoughts or opinions of my own!
I certainly didn’t take part or participate in the political process… I just had a vague awareness of current events.
It wasn’t until I read a book called The Motorcycle Diaries that I actually began to form my own opinions on the world around me… to take notice of social injustice… to question why things happen… or what could be done…
Up until that point I could tell you things like: “People are debating this NAFTA bill,” but I couldn’t tell you why. And I didn’t care to be honest… Che’s book made me ashamed that I could tell you about who’s on the People’s Most Beautiful People list, but I couldn’t tell you anything about the hypocrisy of my own country's foreign policy.
Whatever criticisms you may have about Che (and some of the criticisms are very valid) you have to admire his passion, his honesty, and his need to be an active participant in the world around him. This is a man who died for his belief that the poor and disenfranchised people all across the world deserve equal rights... You can argue that he used the wrong method to further his cause, but you can't argue against his cause.
So in honor of all the young protestors that have recently had their eyes opened to the world around them, this week’s Film Vault Tuesday will feature the movie version of the book that opened mine:
Title: Diarios de Motocicleta – Motorcycle Diaries, (2004)Cast: Gael Garcia Bernal, Rodrigo De la Serna
Why: When I first read that there would be a movie based on a book that meant SO much to me- I was angry… I was angry in the same way I get when I see a teenager who has no idea what Che stood for walking around the mall wearing the T-Shirt simply because he saw Jay-Z wearing one.
I was worried they would alter, change, and rewrite until the script had nothing to do with the book at all.
What worried me most was the thought the millions of kids might see go see a crappy movie that failed to capture the essence of of the man... That they might see that crappy movie and then walk away saying: “Oh Ernesto Guevara, I know who he was, I saw that movie…”
Then I found out that one of my 2 or 3 favorite actors- Gael Garcia Bernal- was going to be the star… ugh, that meant I had to watch it… and so I did… and it far surpassed my expectations.
Taking on the role of Guevara is an insanely difficult task- but Gael some how did it (he even nailed the Argentine accent!)… Making a script out of the book without pissing people off was an insanely difficult task, but Jose Rivera somehow did it…
The whole time I was watching the movie I was waiting for something to go wrong, but that moment never came... there were a couple of very slight changes made- but they were so subtle that I would feel a like an ass for even pointing them out.
Also, kudos to Rodrigo De la Serna for his portrayal of Ernesto’s travel companion Alberto Granado… I had never heard or seen Rodrigo before and he totally blew me away with his acting chops… I dare to say that he, at times out shined Gael.
Remote Stopper Scene: Clearly this would be Ernesto’s birthday party and river swim scene… The fabulous speech (which they recreated word for word I might add) and then his subsequent swim across the river... This is actually one of the subtle changes they made. I know I said I wouldn’t mention it, but... the swim actually took place during the afternoon, way before the party, and wasn’t quite as dramatic as the movie led you to believe (at least according to Che’s account, I have not read Granado’s account of the incident).
Goosebumps/Tear Factor: Several goosebump moments. One that stands out is their first peek at Machu Picchu.
As far as tears go, several moments as well… [1] The mining couple and the discovery of where Chichina’s money went [2] The leper colony goodbye, and [3] obviously Granado and Guevara’s goodbye.
Overall: 9 out of 10… Of course, no movie has ever been better than the book- not even the greatest movie of all (The Godfather) was better than the book… When a great writing is made into a movie the best you can hope for is that it captures the spirit and the meaning of the book.
The Motorcycle Diaries is a coming of age adventure about friendship and travel... but most of all it’s about social awakening… And the movie somehow manages to capture all that- which (according to me at least) is all you can hope for.
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